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Seriously, how hard can it be? So you have a ton or so of
muscular flesh and horns stampeding down Stone Street,
how hard can it be? Sure, occasionally you'll get gored a
bit, or more likely twist your ankle, only to bore your
friends to death for the rest of your life with tales of
matadorian
glory
Real men run with the bears. A nice, colorful selection
of
black, brown, grizzly, polar and for the philatelist, the
occasional koala and panda (yes, red too) are assembled
in
horse-race type stalls at the mouth of a properly sized
forest trail. A crowd of grizzled (or to be grizzled)
competitors in their choice of bright colors or forest
camouflage is assembled nearby. Now, with smells of
garbage and outhouses putting the animals in an
appropriate state of mind, the stalls are open and the
run
begins.
Naked and afraid, my ass. And remember, you don't have
to run faster than the bear. You only have to
run faster than your friend.
Oh deer...
https://www.youtube...watch?v=aBBmdays-c4
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 10 2016]
Up next...
https://www.faceboo...142/?type=2&theater
The Zorbing of the bulls. [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 10 2016]
[link]
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// Real men run with ... the occasional koala // |
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Koalas are arboreal and spend 85% or more of their lives asleep, digesting eucalyptus leaves. They don't move that fast on the ground, and they're short-sighted, so tend to make frequent stops to peer around in a benign, puzzled way to find a tree to climb. |
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"Strolling with koalas" might be more appropriate. Best be prepared with a folding chair, and a packed lunch. |
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// selection of black, brown, grizzly, polar // |
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Polar bears will simply eat the nearest thing in their vicinity that is not another polar bear. Black, brown and grizzly bears are omvivrous and are as like as not going to amble off to raid the trash cans. Oh, and you missed out Kodiak, Specatacled, and Sun bears. |
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Tiptoe through the tulips. (barefooted with scorpions of
course) |
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//philatelist// was looking for a word that would signify
someone who collects and wants a complete set. Something
[8th_of_7] should understand :) |
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And honeycomb boxer shorts for the truly manly. [+] |
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I could bearly contain my excrement. |
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Thank you, (fries), for those links. Intense... |
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There should be a checkbox on the parade application for if you want bears or not. |
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Oh, I don't know. I'd put Jordan's speed up against
Jay Cutler any day. |
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Will there also be antbears, forbears and bugbears? |
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Sweet. ESPN will air, well, everything until the first "incident", when it will
then become pay-per-view. Bun. |
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Will the bears be armed ? |
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They will probably be armless, as their arms will have been
ripped off by 2nd amendment supporters claiming them as
their right. How exactly one rips the arms off of a bear I'm
not certain, but that's why we don't mess with 2nd
amendment supporters. |
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//How exactly one rips the arms off of a bear I'm not
certain// |
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Shoot the bear with a gun first? Maybe that's why there's
such an overlap between 2nd amendment support and the
NRA. |
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Put any bear in a police uniform and give it a gun. It'll probably just shoot all the black bears straight away, even if they're unarmed.... that'll be part of the problem solved .... |
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Not exactly sporting to be chased by a dead bear. An
undead bear, now that might be interesting. |
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//Put any bear in a police uniform and give it a gun// That would be part of the amended constitution where it outlines The Right To Arm Bears. |
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// An undead bear, now that might be interesting. // |
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Yes, because it could either be a zombie bear (cut off head/destroy brain) or a Werebear (Ursine equivalent of Werewolf, silver bullets), creating a dilemma about (a) what weaponry to use, and (b) how to explain the consequences of the use of said weapon(s) to the authorities. |
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What happens if a zombie bear bites a vampire ... ? |
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Then you simply go out during the daytime when
vampires turn into stone or something. |
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^ dust, unless it's a robot vampire. |
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