h a l f b a k e r yA riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a rich, flaky crust
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Rubberella is an umbrella that has its waterproof panels
made from sheets of thin rubber. Now when there is a
strong wind that gets underneath the canopy, the panels
will simply balloon outwards like a bubble and the
umbrella won't blow inside out. Any tears can be easily
rectified using a
bicycle puncture repair kit.
[link]
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// balloon outwards like a bubble and the umbrella won't blow inside out. // |
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It will, because the surface area and hence the applied pressure will be at least the same as a fabric umbrella; in reality slightly higher, as rubber is impervious, whereas fabric is slightly porous, allowing air through - the water doesn't penetrate because of the fine weave and surface tension effects. |
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<contemplates mental image of [xen] being reluctantly wafted high over the rooftops like a sort of snarling, obsessive mirror-universe Mary Poppins/> |
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In fact, the Goodyear company did, for some time,
manufacture rubber umbrellas. The Fox Umbrella Company
was highly put out by this, and started a rumour that rubber
umbrellas were more likely to be struck by lightning than silk
ones. |
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Yes, but there's a vaccine against rubberella now ... isn't there ? |
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... new look for Jane Fonda. |
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I think she may be getting past the age when she can pull off
that kind of outfit.. she might have problems putting it on
too. |
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Too expensive. Do you know how many babies you have to
press to get a pint of it? |
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To the nearest half-dozen, yes. Of course the yield varies from year to year, depending on the quality of the crop, but it's possible to give a sufficiently accurate estimate for commercial purposes. |
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Juice may be the outcome of pressing, but is oil
not obtained as a consequence of a fractional
distillation process? |
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//rubber umbrellas were more likely to be struck by
lightning// |
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I thought this was shown to be down to the brand of flenting
wax in use? |
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Indeed; it's a well-known and proven fact that if you use any product other than Rentisham's, the gods will smite you down for your sacreligious arrogance. |
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// fractional distillation // |
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In this case, by steam distillation of the juice, as with other essential oils. First you crush 'em, then you boil 'em. |
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I want one. A big pink one. Resembling a giant bubble gum
bubble when inflated. Whhooooo-hooooo!!! |
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<phones child services about [bliss]'s plans to
inflate a baby until it resembles a giant pink bubble gum
bubble/> |
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<wonders if inflation will improve juice yields over the current process/> |
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Isn't Walmart selling a GreatValue version of Rentisham's
now? It says clearly on the label "compare to Rentisham's
brand flenting wax" |
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Nothing compares to Rentisham's ... |
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The thing is, Rentisham's has never been available in the
States in any form. The only time it has ever been allowed
to be exported was in connection with the Apollo program,
where limited quantities were made available to NASA for a
very specific application. Consequently, Americans cannot
be acquainted with Rentisham's, leaving them open to all
kinds of pale imitations. |
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Boffo did once start a campaign to get the term "flenting
wax" legally defined in a way which would reflect the high
standards of the Rentisham product, and would preclude
imitators* from so naming their dubious offerings. He was
partly
successful, inasmuch as there was consensus amongst
European nations and the UK. However, the definition has
no legal standing in the US, nor (due to difficulties in
pronunciation) in Japan. |
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(*In fact, Fopp's rival product was also embraced by the
definition - this was a rare instance of Boffo's generosity
towards Rentisham's chief competitor. In addition, Boffo
knew that a healthy market depends on rivalry.) |
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"a healthy market depends on rivalry" |
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and a healthy income comes from a monopoly or a
cartel |
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Oddly enough, Hasbro has the sole rights to Monopoly,
which is a monopoly. It's all too recursive. |
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