h a l f b a k e r yBuy 1/4, get 1/4 free.
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
Ice skating is a very good form of exercise. It's a chance
to
dress up and act like an ejit with impunity.
Unfortunately
it requires a lot of space and is impossible to do at
home,
until now that is with the introduction of the Rotating
Ice, Skating
Hamster, Exercise Wheel.
No one's
buying Peloton bikes, given their recent
advertising disaster, so a sizeable gap in the domestic
market has opened and the Rotating Ice, Skating
Hamster, Exercise Wheel is the perfect fill for that gap.
It's quite a simple piece of apparatus, consisting of a
motorised rotating cylinder, into which a set of nozzels
deliver a continuous spray of water. As the cylinder also
contains a grid of freon circulation pipes, the water is
quickly converted into a surface skin of perfectly smooth
ice.
All our skater has to do now is don their furry hamster
'onesie' costume, then enter the rotating cylinder and
begin
skating within its curved confines. (other outfits are
available, but the skating hamster is always a favourite)
Furry fandom
https://en.wikipedi...g/wiki/Furry_fandom
The article is curiously reticent on the correct weapons and ammunition to be employed when hunting furries. [8th of 7, Dec 21 2019]
[link]
|
| |
This is stupidly dangerous and impractical ; at best there will be serious lower limb injuries due to inappropriate surface geometry, more likely users will break their neck resulting in paralysis or death. |
|
| |
[+] excellent. We have a list of people we'd like to receive one of these by Christmas. |
|
| |
The Canadian market will be huge... |
|
| |
The hamster will need special curved skates. |
|
| |
I'm sceptical about the scope for spinal injuries, though; the
worst case I can see is where you hit the deck under gravity from
a height of rather less than two metres: unpleasant, but not
neck-breaking. |
|
| |
Perhaps [8th] is imagining a full-service package, in which a
thickset attendant would tread heavily on the hamster just after
such a fall, before snatching them up in a regrettably clumsy
fireman's lift in order to "help" them. |
|
| |
// I'm sceptical about the scope for spinal injuries, // |
|
| |
<Notes that [pert] has little or no direct experience of falling over while wearing ice skates/> |
|
| |
If you fall over in the cylinder, the padded hamster
costume will protect you as you tumble around for
a few complete revolutions, similar to being in a
slow moving tumble drier. (tumble freezer idea!) |
|
| |
<Notes that [xen] is a Furry/> |
|
| |
<Wonders if a phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range is appropriate for hunting Furries/> |
|
| |
Wouldn't you need to have fingers to operate that
instead of your barnacle encrusted tentacles? |
|
| |
We favour a direct neural interface for such trivial tasks. |
|
| |
//falling over while wearing ice skates// |
|
| |
This case would differ from most skating falls in that, even after
vigorous exertions, the hamster's velocity in the reference frame
of most nearby objects would still be close to zero. |
|
| |
It is instructive to consider not merely velocity, but momentum. |
|
| |
For a rodentine quadruped with a mass of less than 50g and a leg length of a few centimetres, the momentum is small. |
|
| |
For a 70kg human encumbered by ice skates, a furry hamster suit, and a lack of instinct for self-preservation deducible from a willingness to clamber into the proposed device, the momentum and thus the kinetic energy and potential for damage is much higher. |
|
| |
Due to the lack of availability of a hamster, testing is proceeding using a Manx kitten and a Whirlpool tumble drier lined with a sheet of Teflon®. Results so far are highly entertaining, but inconclusive. |
|
| |
I could see you confined in a nice industrial cement mixer, surfing the cement wave with increasing desparation as it relentlessly hardens despite the motion. |
|
| |
Actually, if you ignore the cement aspect, a massive water-
filled drum could allow perpetual surfing. |
|
| |
He's going into the cement no matter...... we need a new item of garden furniture for the birds to peck at, and the cats to use as a scratching post. |
|
| |
Turning the drum on it’s side and rotating it at
sufficient speed while freezing could give you an
approximate, if slightly parabolic, cylindrical body
of ice. |
|
| |
Oh for Pete's sake, it's just skating people. Why cracking my head against solid ice several times growing up made me the man I will be yesterday. |
|
| |
It wouldn't be Christmas without a humbug! Where's that head hammering gif? ha |
|
| |
// He's going into the cement no matter...... // |
|
| |
"Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, [xenzag] ..." |
|
| |