h a l f b a k e r y"It would work, if you can find alternatives to each of the steps involved in this process."
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
There are companies that will, for a fee, take your remains and make a diamond
from the carbon in your corpse.
Frankly, this is a scam because they charge a fortune even though you have paid an
arm and a leg to provide them with the raw materials. And they are clearly raking
something off the
top, because the diamond you get (well, the diamond that your
nearest and dearest get) represents only a fraction of the carbon in a well-fed corpse.
Worse yet, your terminal diamond will be cut and polished, meaning that bits of you
wind up as diamond dust being washed down the sink. And, as a diamond, you'll look
just like everyone else. Your multifaceted personality will be standardized,
regularized and normalized to uniformity.
Not the way any thoughtful person would want to go.
Hear at Buchanan Funereal Services (a wholly-owned subsidiary of MaxTech), we can
offer you a more fitting post-mortem state.
After your death (this is usually best, we find), our highly-trained professionals will
purify the 20-30 grams of silicon present in your ashes. This silicon will then be
taken through a scaled-down version of zone refining, creating a miniature single-
crystal slug from which several wafers can be sliced. The wafers will be considerably
smaller than those to which the electronics industry is accustomed, but each one will
nevertheless suffice for the lithography of a single integrated circuit. The necessary
dopants will also be derived from your ashes.
A well-nourished person will suffice for the production of a quite complete chip set.
Naturally, any failed chips can be re-purified, refined into an even smaller slug, and
used to make replacements.
Choose from our range of tastefully-designed motherboards and comprehensive range
of ancillaries and accessories, and - requiescat in pace! - you can live on in silico.
Your most cherished memories can be preserved in ROM, and you will still have
sufficient RAM and processing power to tweet, send emails or control your former
home's central heating system, ensuring that your family remembers you warmly.
Please log in.
If you're not logged in,
you can see what this page
looks like, but you will
not be able to add anything.
Destination URL.
E.g., https://www.coffee.com/
Description (displayed with the short name and URL.)
|
| |
I'd like to be buried at sea. That is, someone can extract all the sodium and potassium from my corpse into a single lump, and lob it into the water for all to watch. [+] |
|
| |
Why to think digital ? For me, just build some signal transistors and put them in an audio amplifier. All the music played through this will be coloured with my very essence.
If my essence sounds too much distorted, don't try to fix it, just use as guitar effect. |
|
| |
//our highly-trained professionals will purify the 20-30 grams of silicon present in your ashes... |
|
| |
Reading that, I was thinking they'd end up in certain implants, that also contain silicon. |
|
| |
Likely to lead to "I wasn't leching at that lady, I was smiling at grandad". |
|
| |
[+] A post-dementia discount [PDD] might be welcome. |
|
| |
I wouldn't mind becoming a guitar effect. However my nearest and dearest would probably object to everything that's played through me being turned into a self-indulgent blues in E. |
|
| |
Isn't it a little bit presumptuous to assume that anyones' ashes will necessarily be full of dopants? |
|
| |
Nah, there's a little bit of heavy metal in all of us. |
|
| |
Incidentally, for [8th] and his hive-mates, we figured
silicon was too obvious. Instead, the traces of
carbon which can be found in all Borg will be refined
and lovingly crafted into a miniature replica of a
kitten. |
|
| |