h a l f b a k e r yNow, More Pleasing Odor!
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You all warned me about pierced teeth, but I wouldn't listen. One bubble gum bubble and out came the whole works, including the wind chime. Rats!
Wow! The price of dentures! Forget professional. I haunted garage sales and flea markets, but nothing my size. So why can't you rent them?
On
your way to a social event or a meal, you could just stop off and select a set for the evening. Restaurants could offer them and they could be tailored for specific meals, for instance, for corn-on-the-cob, all incisors, for steak, all molars.
I need a backer...there's a fortune to be made here!
Teeth by Spike Milligan
http://www.cs.rice....rels/poems/701.html
Time for Rent-a-Denture to go global? [Aristotle, Jun 23 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
[link]
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I like the part about different teeth for different foods. Now I can chew the toughest granola with my rented Massive Molars and shred an underdone antelope with Crocodile Canines. Nice! |
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Incisors in the back of your mouth wouldn't do anything but make you bite the hell out of the inside of your mouth. <'Grandpa put his dentures in upside down one day. He ate half his head before we could stop him.'> All molars might work, but you'd look like a horse... |
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Poor Grandpa--halfwitted to begin with, now he's a quarter-wit. So like a good carnivore you've got some wicked canines for stabbing, meat-cutter incisors, and slicing-style molars instead of grinders in back. Feel like gnawing down a tree? We've got teeth for that too... |
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Animal teeth are different...I was thinking of copies of the two top-front teeth all the way around top and bottom. They're not really designed for that. |
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A tiger's teeth would work, but wouldn't fit a human's mouth very well. You'd have to cut down the number of shearing teeth, and you wouldn't be able to bite anything with them except <again> the inside of your own mouth. On the other paw, after you've done that two or three times, you can just jam food into the hole... |
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How about a denture library, where you check 'em out for a week or so for free? |
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Could you get Celebrity Dentures of, maybe, dead celebs who'd have liked their smiles not soon forgot? |
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I've often said one of the
things I really want is a set
of Carnassals (carnassials? I
don't remember the spelling). |
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Like people who rent fancy, trendy furnishings to impress visitors, is there a line of especially sexy teeth? |
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And what would constitute loosing your deposit? If you ate something that stunk them up irreperably? Lindburger cheese, perhaps? |
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Then, in the discount isle you have teeth that still have remnants of where the former renter's mouth was. I think I'll just splurge and buy my own set, thank you very much. |
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A set that resembled shark's teeth would be good
for certain business meetings when intimidation
was a must. |
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Umm Grandpa, can I borrow your dentures? |
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