Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Rent-a-denture

Why buy something you use only a few times a day?
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You all warned me about pierced teeth, but I wouldn't listen. One bubble gum bubble and out came the whole works, including the wind chime. Rats!

Wow! The price of dentures! Forget professional. I haunted garage sales and flea markets, but nothing my size. So why can't you rent them?

On your way to a social event or a meal, you could just stop off and select a set for the evening. Restaurants could offer them and they could be tailored for specific meals, for instance, for corn-on-the-cob, all incisors, for steak, all molars.

I need a backer...there's a fortune to be made here!

melanerpes, Jun 23 2001

Teeth by Spike Milligan http://www.cs.rice....rels/poems/701.html
Time for Rent-a-Denture to go global? [Aristotle, Jun 23 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

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       I like the part about different teeth for different foods. Now I can chew the toughest granola with my rented Massive Molars and shred an underdone antelope with Crocodile Canines. Nice!
Dog Ed, Jun 23 2001
  

       Incisors in the back of your mouth wouldn't do anything but make you bite the hell out of the inside of your mouth. <'Grandpa put his dentures in upside down one day. He ate half his head before we could stop him.'> All molars might work, but you'd look like a horse...
StarChaser, Jun 23 2001
  

       Poor Grandpa--halfwitted to begin with, now he's a quarter-wit. So like a good carnivore you've got some wicked canines for stabbing, meat-cutter incisors, and slicing-style molars instead of grinders in back. Feel like gnawing down a tree? We've got teeth for that too...
Dog Ed, Jun 23 2001
  

       Animal teeth are different...I was thinking of copies of the two top-front teeth all the way around top and bottom. They're not really designed for that.   

       A tiger's teeth would work, but wouldn't fit a human's mouth very well. You'd have to cut down the number of shearing teeth, and you wouldn't be able to bite anything with them except <again> the inside of your own mouth. On the other paw, after you've done that two or three times, you can just jam food into the hole...
StarChaser, Jun 23 2001
  

       How about a denture library, where you check 'em out for a week or so for free?
mrthingy, Jun 23 2001
  

       Could you get Celebrity Dentures of, maybe, dead celebs who'd have liked their smiles not soon forgot?
The Military, Jun 25 2001
  

       I've often said one of the things I really want is a set of Carnassals (carnassials? I don't remember the spelling).
cloaked!stoat, Jun 25 2001
  

       Like people who rent fancy, trendy furnishings to impress visitors, is there a line of especially sexy teeth?   

       And what would constitute loosing your deposit? If you ate something that stunk them up irreperably? Lindburger cheese, perhaps?   

       Then, in the discount isle you have teeth that still have remnants of where the former renter's mouth was. I think I'll just splurge and buy my own set, thank you very much.
jeanniezer0, Apr 15 2003
  

       A set that resembled shark's teeth would be good for certain business meetings when intimidation was a must.
juliec2, Apr 15 2003
  

       Umm Grandpa, can I borrow your dentures?
DesertFox, May 05 2004
  


 

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