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Remote Couchtrol

 Grind couch potatos and pour groovy on them.
  (+8)(+8)
(+8) 		  [vote for,
against]

Finally no more hunting to find the remote control, no more even having to stretch to reach it on the coffee table, heck you barely even have to move anymore since your couchtrol arrived.
Pressure sensitive pads have been inserted into the cushions of your chesterfield and a quick glance at the directions reminds you that twitches of the right buttock are channel up, while pressing your left shoulder into the backrest lowers the volume.

Now aren't you glad you opted for the Pringles and chilled beer dispenser option?


Instruction Granules Instruction_20Granules
grind : pour [k_sra, Sep 07 2007]

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       + yeah, gotta keep the kids from jumping on the couch!
—xandram, Sep 07 2007
   

       You could play buttock Pong.
—skinflaps, Sep 07 2007
   

       Ha!
—pertinax, Sep 07 2007
   

       Toilet seats should also have these, since sometimes you're on the can and a horrible commercial comes on but you left the remote control in your living room so you can't mute it.   

       I'm worried about the buttock controls - what if you're watching a baseball game and finally, after 2 hours, something interesting happens -- you sit up on the edge of your seat and the channel changes to a commercial about genital herpes medication.
—phundug, Sep 07 2007
   

       Guy - "AGUH! Damn kids next door are having sex on the couch again!"   

       wife - "How do you know?"   

       Guy - "Well the TV is switched on and off for 20 minutes and then the volume turns all the way up"
—evilpenguin, Sep 07 2007
   

       alright, who farted? now turn it back.
—k_sra, Sep 07 2007
   

       If it's a universal pressure padding cushion system, you could turn on your microwave dinner with a flip of your buttocks.
—skinflaps, Sep 07 2007
   

       H: "You better not mess up my ass groove!"   

       edit. I think the actual quote was you better not be in my ass groove!   

       The exact quote is hard to find.
—dentworth, Sep 08 2007
   

       I'm not touching that...   

       .   

       [phundug] Testing of the prototype found that to be a bit of a sore spot with consumers.   

       Rats ! I had an idea for a "Sofari"- which was an interactive journey through the jungle achieved by a lazy slob squiriming about on a reactive sofa... sighs, delivers french pastry +
—xenzag, Sep 08 2007
   

       Whew, that was close.   


 

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