h a l f b a k e r yIt's as much a hovercraft as a pancake is a waffle.
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It is a fact that those forced to employ crutches after an injury frequently drop them.
This is most likely caused by the same lack of coordination that caused their injury in the first place.
However, the result is always the same - they start wailing for someone to come and pick up the crutch
and give it back to them.
Now, this problem can be alleviated by use of the BorgCo remote control clutch balloon.
The module clips onto the upper end of the crutch. When the remote control is operated, it ejects an "airbag" - type balloon on a thin tether, relying on hot gas for buoyancy rather than compressed hydrogen or helium.
The user can then grab the string and pull the crutch within reach.
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Luckily this wasn't what I had misread the title to be... |
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Go and wash your mind out with soap and water, you dirty little
man. |
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Once again I am puzzled by the Borg's apparent concern for others' wellbeing. I am also concerned at the mechanism behind this idea. |
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Would it not be more effective and entertaning to have a small explosive charge in the handle of the crutch so that, upon activation, it leaps several feet into the air? This would give the crutcher adequate opportunity to catch it. |
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// a small explosive charge in the handle // |
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That was the obvious solution, yes. |
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The first three prototypes were entirely successful in principle, in that they completely satisfied the design brief. |
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However, trivial secondary effects inexplicably failed to find favour with the trial end user. |
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A larger sample size might yield more acceptable data. Testing the design in a larger room, or perhaps in a garage, or even outdoors might also prove beneficial, although the suggested solution of "Taking that bloody thing down to the seaside and throwing it off a pier" (with the implication of "and you with it") would not actually move the project on much. |
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And here I thought the crutch and the balloon were the
same thing. Nice and cushiony, and if filled with the right
amount of helium would not fall over (nor rise into the
air). |
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