Reduce Urban Litter with Shark food supplement

Fellow members of the semi-cooked world, I bid you welcome to my latest carefully half-baked idea. In the spirit of all things half- bakery, it is simple, yet not deeply thought through.

Observant persons that you are, you will be aware of the increasing problem of litter on our urbane streets. Not only is it an eyesore, it has been known to cause oblongs in built-up areas, a crisis I'm sure not even you can begin to contemplate, notably in South-east Asia, East Wessex, South Northumberland and parts of Greater Stoke.

I feel it would not take much organisation or time to identify, round-up and containerise litter louts. Many container ships return to their home port empty, so there is no shortage of accommodation. The containers could then be shipped out to oligotrophic areas of the world's oceans (look it up), and dumped on a fairly random basis throughout the journey. Due to overfishing there is a recognised lack of fish in the sea somewhat scotching the once-familiar notion that there are 'plenty more fish in the sea'. In fact, the reverse is closer to the truth, and due to human greed, many of them are jolly hungry.

It could be our way of giving something back to the planet, transforming human effluent into useful product. Beneficial side effects include reducing unemployment, creation of jobs in the (currently under-resourced) 'Useless oxygen-waster Identification, Herding and Packaging/Distribution' sector, deep ocean carbon sequestration and making good use of heretofore non-contributory dwellers within (but not contributory to) civilised society. Even they can end their previously valueless existence with the epitaph 'I gave my all'.

Everybody wins!

What?