Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Redneck Topiary

 For the high-falutin' rich redneck.
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Imagine trailer parks with shrubbery big enough to cut. Think of the great works of art that could be created here - Car on Cinderblocks; Dog Under Porch; Tractor Tire in Yard; etc. All made with some gardening shears and some time and some artistic talent. Can be decorated with beer bottles at owner’s digression.
—barnzenen, Nov 28 2001


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Annotation:







       Surely all made with a 650cc four-stroke chainsaw.
—angel, Nov 28 2001
   

       Or they'd just get drunk and trash the lot of them.
—pottedstu, Nov 28 2001
   

       "...Car on Cinderblocks; Dog Under Porch; Tractor Tire in Yard..."   

       ...Exterior washer and dryer.   

       "Can be decorated with beer bottles at owner?s digression."   

       Or Christmas lights which never get taken down.
—phoenix, Nov 28 2001
   

       Christmas lights are easy, just let Ivy grow along length of roofline
—thumbwax, Nov 28 2001
   

       <pedant> "High falootin'" is both hyphenated and spelled with a mere "u"--high-falutin'.</pedantry>. Also, I assume that a rich redneck could afford three or four real cars on cinderblocks--why settle for shrubbery?
—zaphod12, Nov 28 2001
   

       UB - wash your mouth out
—po, Nov 28 2001
   

       Here's what to do for a great yard decoration to go with the topiary, and it saves a lot of trouble during the holiday season from October to March: Load up a rusty old wheelbarrow with a) a plastic Halloween pumkin that lights up, b) a plastic turkey that lights up, and c) a plastic snowman or some such that lights up. Wad up some cheap multicolor lights on string and plug the whole mess in. Toss the stuff around a little bit, get it nice and tangled. You've got all those commercialized aspects of those holidays covered! If nobody pays any mind, add a 10 KW tesla coil to the mix (and a bigger extension cord).
—entremanure, Nov 30 2001
   

       Wonderful- community beautification. One thing though...you're assuming that someone that likes the look of 'Car on Cinderblocks' and 'Tractor Tire in Yard' posesses any kind of artistic talent. Someone call Christopher Lowell. Oh and the beer bottles...that wasn't artistry, Bubba Jim Bo Bob left them there last time they did a 'Peeing for Accuracy' contest. (I know this is kind of late, but hey, I just got here.)
—vendetta, Jul 16 2003
   

       I always fancied having one such shaped to resemble the "one finger salute" to discourage peddlers, heh.
—Steamboat, Jul 07 2004
   


 

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