h a l f b a k e r y"It would work, if you can find alternatives to each of the steps involved in this process."
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Once a year, the PGA should set up a mandatory tournament for all pros. If you don't play this tournament, you lose your card. The tournament would be played on the worst muni course in the nation and the pros would be required to play without the services of a caddie or any rules officials. The purpose
of the tournament would be to see how the pros deal with "real golf," that is, the kind of conditions under which most of us play. The greens, by the way, should be only half-covered in grass and should have Stimp readings ranging from 2 to 14 depending on where your ball ends up. And the fairways should be composed of at least twenty different kinds of grass, all mowed at different levels with multitudinous tufts and divots. Lastly, the roots from the trees adjoining the fairways should extend well out into each fairway and should be intermingled with numerous gopher holes. That's a tournament I'd never miss watching.
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Sounds like the British Open ;-) |
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(Tonight on FOX--See how Arnold Palmer lost his career after an 'unfortunate' event at a golf course in Toronto, Canada. Apperently there was over 30 gophers and a missing caddie involved. And why did an earthquake level hole 4 just as soon as none other than Homer Simposn walk onto the field. An interrigation meeting said he smelt alcohol near Tiger Woods.) That's a tournament I'd never miss watching! |
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I'm all for it. The municipal courses out here in St. Louis are relatively nice, but I think Lefty would be reduced to tears by some of the holes, merely for their awfulness. |
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