h a l f b a k e r yRight twice a day.
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The Rant Booth is a heavily soundproofed booth about the size of a toilet stall. On one wall is a large colour screen and an armoured keyboard/mouse input device. The walls are heavily padded.
You go into the Rant Booth and use the keyboard to summon up the image of your rantee. This could be a
co-worker or a politician or any other person you choose - even yourself. You then press the GO key. The software converts the picture to an animated image. You then tell the image what the problem is, what you think of them, and where they can go, thumping the walls for emphasis as necessary. As you yell and cavort, the software makes the image seem increasingly unhappy, repentant or just plain scared depending on the settings. If it's female, it could cry. There is a handy windscreen wiper to keep the screen free of blobs of spittle.
When you have finished you fold down the little seat and watch an image of the rantee slink into a corner and commit suicide by the amusing method of your choosing. You cool off under the blower, have refreshing drink of water, and return to your office having safely vented your venom, bile and spite.
We consider this would be a socially acceptable alternative to herding the entire software development team into a dungeon at bayonet point, then having two of your henchmen drag one at random to the front and decapitating him with a samurai sword, then placing the still -dripping head on a tall spike and explaining very quietly to the shocked surviors in tones of low menace that if you're told ONE MORE F@CKING TIME that "it'll be OK in the next release" and then it's not, they will share the fate of their ill-starred compatriot whose still-warm corpse is even now cooling at your feet. Furthermore, explain that as they leave the room, trained medical technicians will attach conductive electrodes to sensetive parts of their bodies, which will be wired back to an electric fencer on your desk and if you are given the slightest provocation you will start pressing the button at random until they're all screaming for mercy.
Ahem. It's been a long day.
The Mother of All Office Workers
http://www.halfbake..._20Office_20Workers
or you could cry in big mamma's lap [FarmerJohn, Jun 19 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Fan-Rant Video Booth
http://www.hiqsoft....ideobooth/index.asp
In the Edmonton Skyreach Hockey Stadium. [phoenix, Jun 19 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]
An alternative.
http://www.halfbake...m/idea/scream_20box
[gizmo]'s version [angel, Jun 20 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]
GlobalIdeasBank: Screaming Booth
http://www.globalid...dea.php?ideaId=3862
[jutta, Oct 05 2004]
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Annotation:
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If you don't select the image of Emmanuel Goldstein, do the thought police come and drag you away? |
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//If it's female, it could cry// |
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yeah, cause we all *know* that men *don't* cry.... |
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well, nothing like adding a little sexist remark....bliss and sappho, are you gonna' let him get away with that? |
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Yes. I'd like to order one rant booth, right away, to be installed in my home this very afternoon. Like bliss, I'd like to see the suicide feature turned off. I'd prefer that my rant target be revived each time I want to add to my list of grievances, and then have to live with their impact for the rest of her worthless, miserable life. |
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I'll pay you whatever you want. If I don't have the money, I'll steal it. Just gimme this, gimme, gimme ... |
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well 1% is certainly fuming over someone - I wonder if my female instinct is correct on the target? |
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po, you're probably right on the money. |
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How I wish that "ex" were a verb instead of a prefix ... |
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instead of the suicide thing, you should be able to kill them your self. |
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if this thing really existed, then i think people would start to get confused about what's real and what's not. And after you virtually rant at a certain person, you might see the person again the next day, and he/she's still the same old son of a b*tch. So you actually didn't accomplish anything. |
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st3f: As of today, Goldstein is one of the good guys. Please try to stay current, OK, otherwise you will have to come and join us here in Cubicle 101. The rats, the rats ..... |
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Blissmiss, 1percent: The suicide thing is an option. You could just have a bunch of guys come on and give them a kicking, or do their knees with pickaxe handles. Or maybe a 200 kilo jail inmate called Bubba who wants them to be his Special Friend that night. Remeber the pawnshop scene from Pulp Fiction ? Or a tank of spiders, or whatever. They don't HAVE to die .... at least, not all at once. |
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Remember, in their sessions in the booth, they may be doing similar things to you. |
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Ravenswood: What the animation does and how it reacts is down to the options you check. |
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Consumer: The point is to work the anger and frustration out of your system harmlessely, like a sort of mental punchbag. Who knows if it would help. Any professional psychologists out there ? |
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A good day in software development is when every complaint arrives prefaced with "This is the only warning you're going to get …". |
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Reensure: What is this "good day in software development" of which you speak ? Your words are strange to us. We do not know of this. |
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