h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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In the UK, bus-only lanes are marked with red asphalt.
However, some bus lanes are not permanent, and have a small roadsign indicating the times when cars are not allowed.
The problem arises when trees obscure the road sign, or worse, as happens near my home, there are three different restricted
times on sections of bus lane on the same road, all within half a kilometre.
The idea is simple; colour coded asphalt, possibly with stripes like mains wiring, to make sure the colour-blind minority don't try to wriggle out of getting tickets.
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Annotation:
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<Tries to understand logic:> |
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- Roads get painted rainbow colours.
- Gays like rainbow colours.
- ...er... then I get lost. Is it: |
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(a) Gays begin to enjoy driving so much more they steal hard working heterosexuals' jobs driving cabs and trucks, inevitably escalating road traffic accidents 300-fold as they drive around feverishly masturbating. |
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(2) Gays flood the streets and can't help but strip naked and sprawl over the rainbow colours in an orgy of traffic jam inducing lewd mayhem and gay-pride protest, descending the country into a state of anarchic rioting and bloody violent feuds as gays and cabbies clash with murderous consequences. |
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(iii) The Public Transport service employs friendly bus drivers which, for the Great British public at least, would be extremely irritating; the residents of our nation preferring instead to retain a comforting whimsical melancholic approach to life that incorporates a general whinging attitude towards idiot bus drivers. |
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</Tries to understand logic> |
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The logic all falls down of course when asking the question: Are there any gay goths? |
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Apply some "Truck ramps" (gratuitous plug for my idea) - no need for seperate lanes. Gay goths would love them too... Don't ask how I know... |
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this serves the greater purpose of
making homophobes use commuter rail
and pedestrian vices, while normal
people get to enjoy rainbows all day
long. drunks and the halucinating can
simply tell police they were following
the rainbows. "sorry officer i really
thought i was still playing mariocart...i
didnt know rainbow-road was for gays
only, isnt that what the purple lanes
for? you should of seen that commie
that cut me off in the red a while ago" |
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