h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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A button on the corner of your desk that when pressed will activate the remote controlled tea lady which glides over to you and delivers a nice hot brew.
The R C tealady comes in the form of mannequin sporting a red and green polka dot dress complete with teatowel wrapped around her waist, fluffy
blue rinse wig and sporting a beaming polished smile.
The desk is connected to an internal signal network which alerts the tealady to identify the caller which in-turn will send tealady rolling over on a set of small wheels to your desk.
Through voice activation command for a "cup of tea white,no sugar thanks" tealady will point her finger downwards whilst you hold out your cup,which in turn is filled with your desired cuppa which has been brewed within the heating element and boiler within the mannequin.The brew is transferred through a series of pipes up the arm and out of the middle finger filling your cup,whilst the little finger with a tap of the knuckle adds milk and thumb flips and delivers a sugar lump or two.
Right arm tea,left arm coffee.
Just don't let two many people press the button at once or shout at the tealady...could be kinda messy.
[link]
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the word just really *should* be pokerdot! |
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For office use where equal-opportunity policies are prevalent, this would have to be an "RC tea-person" to avoid perpetuating the prejudice that relatively low-value occupations are more appropriate for women. |
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Obviously an “RC Tea Man” would be quicker than an RC Tea Lady, brewing more efficiently and not needing to stop for gossip on the delivery route. However it would doubtless fail to wash up properly and if it got lost on the way to a desk would refuse to ask for directions! |
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no sugar lump for dob for perpetuating gender stereotypes. |
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hah and the pokerdot dress would look ridiculous on RC Teaman... |
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"Would ye have a cup of tea?" |
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"Ah, go on, now, fether." |
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"Ah, go on and have a cup of tea." |
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"Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on..." <<repeat until power cut>> |
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Or does RC not stand for what Roman Catholic? |
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And they would have to offer croissants as well, Shirley? Just as I'm doing. +
(That's the RC teaperson, not Sony, by the way, although it might be nice if Sony started offering croissants too.) |
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Just like a Mr. Coffee, just R/C, and having human form, and serving you on command ... ... or the Coffee/tea slot machine (one-armed bandit) |
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R C or was that intention arsey. |
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Tea Lady: Hoist your mug ... or get burned. |
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Didn't realize there was a Royal Crown Tea. |
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[Guy Fox] Too Good!.
You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will....... |
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Shirley, it would be more fun to have an 'arsey tealady'
wheel over to your desk on all fours. She could serve
coffee and tea in heated beverage mugs direct from a hot
rack on her back. |
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Maybe she could dispense the beverages upon removing
the appropriate limb from a stowed position inside a
reminiscent car-hop-styled white-leather-roller-skate-
escutcheoned docket on the mobile base assembly. |
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Cream could be dispensed in a wink...literally. (Be sure
cup is feasibly placed.) Sugar cubes could be dispensed
from between pursed
lips, one at a time on the tip of her tongue and to the
sound of "cuckoo-coo". |
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Monday thru Thursday could be standard 'desk' service
days. To reduce hectic office traffic on Fridays, beverages
could
be dispensed from tealady's base port "off the floor". She
could still dispense refills right into cups on the desks.
With computer processing, she could aim perfectly and
fashionably--"fountain style". |
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Include a bun warming stomach compartment ... if there's fresh croisnats, mention in conversation "a bun in the oven" and she'll open up to you, and reward you with a warm flaky treat. |
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