h a l f b a k e r yLeft for Bread
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Keep constables away from your crab cakes! Restrictions on the use of outdoor (propane and natural) gas grills is a growing trend in my area, attempting to address an ever-growing number of negligent grill operators causing property damage.
Brandishing your barbecue grill outdoors may result in a
fine and confiscation of the equipment. Clearly, we need a grill that blends into a suburban environment, is securely mounted to the ground, and constructed of metal.
Post boxes have ample storage for a gas canister and a convenient footprint for cooking a small meal. After welding (hinges, brackets, handles, and sealing the drop slot) and applying high-heat paint, these could be inconspicuously placed in appropriate common spaces to be shared by nearby residents.
Postal customers may become frustrated searching for a *real* post box (whose drop slot has not been welded shut). Law enforcement would be hindered more; police would need to routinely examine each post box, and use heavy equipment to free the thick steel legs of fakes from their concrete foundations.
Post boxes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post_box
includes images of post boxes/mailboxes the world over [ed, Jul 14 2008]
[link]
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& disguise yourself as a postman. |
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Perhaps precluding personages with a proclivity for perambulative policing from your pyrotechnic picnicing would engender enormous egalitarianism from the epicurean elite. |
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Or, be sure to cook a chicken with every BBQ, and when the coppers come, just flip them the bird! |
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You don't think that copious clouds of smoke would give your plan away and bring the fire brigade? How about a heat-proof vent hose running down the center of the support post and a fan pushing it all to a discrete dispersion area? [+] |
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Although I am not surprised, this is the first time I’ve heard of Gas Grills being an issue. |
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I know someone who lives in a neighborhood in Denver Colorado that prohibits satellite dish antennas. He has a large umbrella over his picnic table that occasionally turns upside down and orients it self in strange ways… but it always uprights itself before he leaves for work the next day… |
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