h a l f b a k e r yBaker Street Irregulars
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In short, being a firefighter seems to be a repetitious
and not particularly remunerative occupation.
1) Compulsory water tanks to be included in the building
regulations, in order to provide steam pressure for the
generator that runs the son et lumiere show outside. To
be honest, the current
flashing and lights is a bit jejeune
and unlikely to draw much of a fee-paying crowd.
2) Compulsory irradiated potatoes in thick film to be
included in the above fire regs, so the firemen have
something to sell to the above-mentioned crowd.
3) Just for fun, thin steel plates, soldered to overhead
pipes/ducting each one etched with a fortune cookie
motto. As the temperatures goes up, they drop down, ranging from the helpful "Watch out for that beam" to "Four lucky dragons, the moon has risen".
4) Have a go at firefighting activity, where for a modest
fee, the public can don the uniforms and dash into the
building with a hose for a bit.
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You should look up an ancient Roman named Crassus. He
started the first firefighting organization, and it was a for-
profit venture. Specifically, when he learned about a fire,
he and his team rushed to the scene to negotiate a fee for
putting it out. The fire continued to burn during the
negotiations..... Crassus eventually became the richest
man in Rome, and the word "crass" exists entirely because
of him. |
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Yes, ideally the hot air rising from your house fire
should be vented into hot air balloons. Tickets could
be sold for aerial tours of your neighbourhood. The
advantage of having a house fire combined with a hot
air balloon commercial venture is that even at night,
your neighbourhood will be well-lit. |
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We would like to apply for the post of firelighter. |
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A really bright house fire should save the local
authority money on street lighting too |
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