Puppymania

It's a street-level store in the financial district of a major city. It has to be somewhere where foot traffic is high (especially at lunchtime), the average stress level is through the roof, and passers-by tend to be ambitious, upwardly mobile, alienated, suit-wearing go-getters.

These people need some unconditional love, and if you factor in the twenty minutes they spend eating at Subway and the time it takes to get back to work, they need that love to happen in half an hour or less. That's where the puppies come in. I envision this kind of scenario: you go into the store, pay let's say $20 for a half-hour, and you get to play with a pre-arranged number of puppies in a private room. Maybe $20 gets you half an hour with 6 puppies. You pet them, chase them around, play tug-of-war with them, give them complimentary biscuits, and let them jump on you. You can go with a random selection of puppies, or point out the ones from the store window that caught your eye. Kind of like buying a dozen donuts.

You pay, you play, you laugh, and then you wash your hands and go back to work for the afternoon, feeling much refreshed and optimistic about life in general.

There would be many different breeds of puppies, but all would be in good health and none would be more than six months old. Some customers will prefer very young puppies, and others will want to play with older, stronger, more coordinated puppies. Every new customer becomes a "member" with a computer profile keeping track of his or her preferences and consumer behaviour, and there are email alerts about new puppies coming in, special events, promotions, merchandise, press coverage, and the adopt-a-puppy program. The store takes reservations, and once you're a member you can be invoiced at home or the office so you can get in and out with a minimum of hassle.

I expect that a typical "Puppymania" location (for lack of a better name) would have maybe ten private rooms (about 12' x 15'), each with a window in the door, sound-proofing, and a discreet surveillance system for security purposes. The rooms would also contain dog toys, dog playground pieces, and other things dogs like. Staff would have good animal care skills and basic veterinary training.

You could request a room with a phone, TV, and stock market updates on an electronic wall display, or you could stay in the true spirit of Puppymania and ignore work. You could play alone or in pairs. Two people is the maximum.

A typical location would have a stable of 80-100 puppies. When the puppies aren't "working," they are in the front display window area or in the back, resting in spacious and comfortable individual pens. They have access to water and dry food at all times in accordance with the advice of a veterinarian who makes a weekly inspection.

Any customer who deliberately injures the puppies in any way will be immediately blacklisted, charged, and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Once the puppies reach their expiry date (after their cuteness has hit its peak), they become candidates for adoption or for public service (police dogs, drug sniffers, shepherds' assistants, guide dogs, rescue dogs, fire dogs, etc). It would not be uncommon for a customer to adopt a favourite puppy once it hits eight months of age; they come initially for the freedom from responsibility, but end up forming emotional bonds and being unable to say goodbye. Because all the dogs are pure-bred and of show quality, with papers from reputable breeders, they would be adopted quickly.

Puppymania would also do out-calls, outside of business hours, for executives, travellers, rich eccentrics, the elderly, hospital patients, and parties of the right sort.

There is one angle I haven't figure out yet - how to deal with the incredible mess. Any help would be appreciated.