h a l f b a k e r yA dish best served not.
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Announcements given on public transport tend to be verbose and full of ugly, convoluted phraseology, such as "Passengers are advised to take extra care when travelling on the Underground today...", "We regret to inform you that...", "The train standing at...", "Any passengers wishing to travel to...".
Therefore I propose that there should be legislation requiring all such announcements to be delivered in the form of haiku*, so you might have:
There is rain outside.
Floors are slippery,
so take extra care.
The train to Brighton
is at platform eleven.
Enjoy the seaside!
Damp autumn leaves fall.
Sadly, make tracks slippery.
Trains delayed today.
[* I'm taking haiku here to mean a verse form with three lines, of 5, 7 and 5 syllables, somewhat poignant and often with some reference to the weather or the changing seasons]
Seibu train posters
https://www.moshimo...n.jp/33790/main-232
[not_morrison_rm, Mar 13 2019]
[link]
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Trains with few seats,
perfect for
sardines,
dress up as a fish. |
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Seibu train co has the right posters for this.
Link |
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You propose this to the Japanese they WILL start
doing this. |
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[marked-for-deletion: Maybe I've had a stroke. Why can't I get this to work? How is everyone stopping the double space? I want to clean this up to save space in scrolling comments.] |
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This is Waterloo.
Passengers for Birmingham
Were on the wrong train. |
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For Bristol, please take
the replacement bus service.
Slow travel - Daydream. |
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It is high summer
we have turned on the heaters
you are drenched in sweat |
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deep white midwinter
icicles form on your nose
the heaters are off |
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Don't push to the front
of the long line for tickets!
Yes, you there! Hey! Queue! |
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Desperate to go?
Toilets are out of order.
Hold back tsunami! |
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Bus makes me sleepy
Man next to me is sleeping
I will sleep on him |
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even with haiku
we will still frustrate you, see
it say it sorted |
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[Voice's standard anti-haiku rant] |
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Groop we implore thee,
Oh my foonting turlingdromes,
Tis spring; mind the gap! |
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In most locales this would come across as |
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'bzzzzzz... wherrrr wahh fzzzz shzhzhzh
ington ruh..roh...whzzz crackle
Jzhzhzhz bzzz next station.' |
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Mylondon, that is arguably the 3rd worst poetry I've
heard... |
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