h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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Fire being a common neccessity, I suggest on every street corner a public eternal flame. Much like a drinking fountain - you approach - press the button and a small flame shoots out about an inch.
For those late nights stumbling out of bars with a cigarette dangling out of your mouth and you cant
remember where you put that lighter - you need public fire!
Precaution is advised in the insobriated state to evade a burnt eyeball.
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Also handy for torching public buildings, lighting crosses,
burning witches and heretics and a million other handy
accidents just waiting to happen. (And how did that
hypothetical cigarette get in my mouth? Bleah!)
(I wonder how long it will be before someone posts Pubic
Fire as an idea.) |
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you can already do all those things with matches bought at a store (if thats what you're into). |
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and will these have adjustable valves like water fountains? Ohh...just think of the mischief! |
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Baked, or burned, a hundred years ago. Used to be constantly running lighters at outside store counters for the convienence of the customers when purchasing stogies. |
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But do people want fire which be fitted nasally? (Over to you, PeterSealy, for the origin of that). |
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Ooh, ooh, please sir! I know the answer! |
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And what about this "wheel" thingy? Seems terribly fascinating. How about public wheels? |
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I wonder what color it should be. |
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(I'm sorry I really couldn't resist. I went into a trance state.) |
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not forgetting pubic wheels |
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and free public photocopiers on every corner. |
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Anyone who really want to make fire can do so the same way a caveman did - couple of bits of flint, or some stick will do the trick - suggest you buy the Collins Gem SAS Survival Guide. (Should be available from Amazon) |
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I refuse to stand on a busy street corner, surrounded by businessmen going to work, trying to make a spark with flint and steel. It is totally beneath my dignity, regardless of what the SAS recommends. |
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Why don't they just put the public fire NEXT TO the public water fountain, so that if anything catches fire by mistake, there's a handy source of water to put it out with? No, that would make too much sense. . . . |
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