h a l f b a k e r yIt's as much a hovercraft as a pancake is a waffle.
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If you read any overzealous press release, ad, or legal statement by a corporation, chances are it'll be liberally sprinkled with (C), (R), and (TM) symbols. As long as they're there interrupting your flow of reading, why not have a way to pronounce them?
(R), the "registered" symbol, can be pronounced
as a grunt-ish "Rrrrr." This should approximate the kind of noise the legal thugs will make if you dare use that name.
(TM), for trademarks in general, usually appears after a product name. Pronounce it "cha-ching!"
(C), the copyright symbol, can be pronounced "BONK", in honor of Sonny Bono.
Normally when reading, you hear what you're reading in your mind. For me, this makes such unpronounceable symbols even more bothersome. Just insert these sounds and it may alleviate the awkward mental pause. Of course, they work even better out loud.
Perhaps this capability will be built into future text-to-speech programs, and they would run on Microsoft (RRRRR) Windows (cha-ching!)
Victor Borge on punctuation
http://www.kor.dk/borge/b-mus-1.htm
Scroll down to hear a sound clip of the punctuation routine. One of my all time favorites. Oh, and the correct spelling of his name, while we're at it. [krelnik, Oct 16 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]
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Why would you want to pronounce these things? Does it mean more with "Snickers(TM)" to say "Snickers cha-ching" than "Snickers"? If you need to specify that something is a trademark, you should have to say so, otherwise, why bother (outside typesetting, etc.)? |
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Two thoughts: First, have you considered that the ability to vocalize these symbols will result in their being all the more pervasive, as they will now have to be included in ads, newscasts, movies, phone messages, etc., and that the ability to insert them into verbal speech will tend to more fully establish their legal standing? |
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Second, rather than being irritated by the presence of these symbols as tools that evil corporations use to oppress the masses, you might instead (and, I think, more accurately) see them as facilitators that help ensure that you have anything worth reading or listening to or buying in the first place, by protecting property rights of creators and giving them an incentive to create. |
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Au Gd, Hg No W Er F As Ta |
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This should also make some very interesting new words... |
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Why stop there?
The query itself '?' should be pronounced "Eigh".
Thus the band 'Therapy?' would be pronounced "Therapy, eigh". |
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The open and close angle brackets '<' and '>' could be "bra" and "ket" (from obscure physics namenclature).
Thus the company "More Th>n" would be pronounced "More Thekitten" |
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The film "Se7en" is of course pronounced "Se-seven-en", implying the cost of seven Japanese yen. |
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And maybe companies would learn to stop fucking around like leach hacksors. |
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When you get to a symbol, make an animal sound that begins with that same letter:
(R) = "Rrrrufff!"
(TM) = "Tweet!"
(C) = "Cockadoodle-doo!"
q.v. = "Quack!" |
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