Private toilet sharing

Some localities exhibit a complete dearth of public washroom facilities.

It has been explained* to us that apparently this constitutes a problem to persons of the female persuasion who seem unhappy with the typical male solution of disappearing into the nearest available patch of shrubbery and promptly solving their problem.

BorgCo analysts have a solution; a private toilet sharing scheme.

Just sign up for the scheme and download the App. By signing up, you agree to allow other scheme members to use the toilet facilities** in your dwelling - if, that is, you are there when the call comes.

When out and about, should an urgent need arise, consult the app, and it will show the location of other scheme member homes in the vicinity. You can then contact them via the app and request use of their toilet. Should they agree, go and knock at their door and identify yourself.

After the transaction, both parties can provide a rating to the system - for the user, politeness of householder and cleanliness of facility; for the householder, demeanour and behaviour of user (muddy bootprints, remembering to flush, use of air freshener and/or lingering taint).

Since to join the scheme you must have a loo of your own to offer, and must therefore provide verifiable address information, this is not a particularly good way of obtaining access to someone else's property for the purposes of checking it out for burglary or home invasion, and too many Black Marks may get you excluded from the scheme.

* loudly and forcefully, the explanation ending abruptly with bruising to the listener's ear region.

*if any. Dwellers if rural areas may have wildly variant concepts of what constitutes "toilet facilities".