h a l f b a k e r yI think, therefore I am thinking.
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A lightweight, easy-to-assemble portal which can be attached to most sizes of doorframe. Anyone passing through is instantly transported to Hell. Imagine the look of surprise on your victim's faces as they are dragged down into the depths of Hades. Ideal for neatly and quickly disposing of double-glazing
salesmen and others of their ilk. Folds flat after use, and comes in a stylish holdall (colour choices : khaki, royal blue, misty buff).
Defenestrator
http://www.halfbake.../idea/Defenestrator
HB at its best. (IMhO) [st3f, Jul 23 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]
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Annotation:
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Well, obviously it's got a non-return valve fitted. It's a basic Health & Safety requirement for this sort of item. |
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[sparky]: As it happens, I watched 'Welcome to the Hellmouth' (again) last night. |
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But... if you removed the valve and fitted a piece of bungee cord you could go to hell and back in the blink of an eye. |
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Wouldn't this have to be fitted by a qualified professional? |
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[st3f]: In which case, you just end up with the problem of door-to-door Portable Hellmouth Portal salesmen instead of double-glazing salesmen... |
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<sucking breath in through teeth> "Well, I coooould do a special deal - just for you, mind... We've got a 2-for-1 offer going right now. Get yer front door done, and we'll throw in the back door for free, mate... If I can just show you our brochure." |
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I thought [st3f] meant portal to portal salesmen but never mind... besides the salesmen would all end up being sucked into the porals for their crimes... can you get hell portal windows... |
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[RobertKidney]: You weren't thinking of a comeback for the Defenestrator, were you. (see link) |
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In the RPG "Ultima 7: Serpent Isle", activate the cheat mode and go to where the crematorium is. Remove the trap door and the lever. Walk around the game incinerating whatever you like. |
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Who is gonna test it after it is installed?
If it is installed backwards, do you go to heaven? |
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