h a l f b a k e r yAssume a hemispherical cow.
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At one time or another we are confronted with salesmen, religious zealots, or even halloween "trick-or-treaters" knocking on the front door. Front Door Delete™ is a device that fits over your front door and it is designed to match the attributes of the exterior of your home so that it appears as if your
front door does not exist. If your house is made of brick, the front of your house will look like a continuous brick wall. You could even have a window installed on the unit to make it look as if this was part of the design. It can be easily removed for when you are expecting invited guests but when you would rather not encounter someone selling you literature about the end of the world, you won't have to because they will never be able to find your front door.
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Won't they just walk around the house, looking for a door? Arguably worse than just ignoring them when they are at the (clearly visible) front door. |
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Install a system that scrambles your house numbers so when people come looking for your address they can't find it. Of course that does nothing to get rid of folks who are going door-to-door. |
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Perhaps to foil them you could install the actual door bell outside, so when they push the button they hear the chime beside them. You could record a short message saying "Could you get the door for me, please?" which would follow the chime each time they pressed the button. If they take the bait and open the door, there's a big mirror inside where they see themselves. Eventually, once they have become thoroughly confused, they will walk away. |
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//Won't they just walk around the house, looking for a door?// Certainly. But they would be less inclined to walk around the house unless they have a trait similar to 21_Quest's neighbor. The way I figure is that if a stranger approaches a house and goes anywhere other than to the front door, it can be considered as trespassing. |
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You really want a front door which, when you don't want to be disturbed, is constantly moving at high speed back and forth across the front of your property. |
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HA! hippo's silent dodgy door |
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//Eventually, once they have become
thoroughly confused, they will walk
away.// Just answer the door, and before
they can open their mouth, ask them if you
can come in to discuss God with them. As
they try to come to terms with this reversal
of roles, step smartly out of your front
door, close it behind you, and ask them if
you might have a cup of tea while you talk.
An equivalent ploy works for telephone
sales people, but only briefly. |
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Yeah and then if it happens to be someone who came to your door to talk about God and/or sell you literature then you will have the burden of having to kick them off of your property after you were so "nice" to them. |
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//if it happens to be someone who came to your door to talk about God// The best way to deal with Jehovah's Witnesses is to answer the door naked. |
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