h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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Made completely of something acid resistant. Porcelain should do it. When the annoying red "paper jam" light comes on, as inevitably happens with photocopiers, pour acid into the top of the thing, until the paper jam disolves, preferably with a puff of satisfying green smoke.
Granted, this idea
may have drawbacks, but it must be better than pressing every button, semi dismantling the thing, putting it back together (badly), kicking it, and copying everything with a biro for the next 2 weeks.
[link]
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what I want is Instant PhotoCopy Engineerman who flies through my (groundfloor) window, in a natty little costume and cloak and a mysterious mask + grin from ear to ear, the minute I need him! is that a WIBNI or what. |
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& his sidekick Litmus girl |
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Mild mannered Timothy Leary by day, ACID MAN by night, or by afternoon anyway. |
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Perhaps all you'd need is a plunger. |
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you should be able to put it into reverse mode, so that it unblocks itself. |
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I prefer to kick my copier. Porcelain is too fragile. |
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[k_sra] Kick away, angry k... it's therapy, don't you know? [po] In my experience of three (hundred) point turns, going into reverse when things get tricky can be a serious mistake. |
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silly, fishrat. my shredder will reverse and its messy but useful. |
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As an ex-Xerox employee I became rather skilled at paper jams. It always tugged at my sense of exploration to find where the paper was stuck this time. I would probably pay to play a paper-jam console game if one existed ... |
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However coming back to your idea, acid would probably be too dangerous. I would recommend two alternatives to sharpen up this idea.
- One would be print on rice paper and supply an appetite enhancer so famished employees would be rewarded by a tasty snake of jammed rice paper.
- The other would be to print on something soluable, such as soap, so water could clear any blockage on a water-proofed copier. |
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rice paper and jam sandwich mmm |
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<Off subject> When I was learning to drive some years ago my driving instructor told me that they (the instructors) were no longer allowed to use the phrase "three point turn" in case it gave those drivers who turn like [Fishrat] an inferiority complex. They had to call it "turning in the road using forward and reverse gears". |
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I like the flushing photocopier idea. Incedentally, is it wierd that I love the smell of the warm paper that comes out of a copier? Everyone else seems to hate it. |
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//tasty snake of jammed rice paper// |
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You shouldn't have put the snake in there in the first place! |
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pity the photocopier cannot be programmed to make origami art out of those concertina-ed pieces |
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<OT>Mmmmmm....fresh photo-copier paper. Reminds me of fresh jacket potatos. Always nice and warm in the winter too </OT> |
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It stikes me that photocopiers would double as brilliant fresh pasta makers. |
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While this idea purports to be about "paper jams", how is it that no one has conjectured that perhaps the author has spent too many moments with his/her ass pressed against the photocopier glass, and only then noticed that the lifted lid resembled another more familiar porcelain bathroom fixture? Did I miss the funny part Again? |
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//me and my fried sitting here have just confirmed that we like it too.// a frodoian slip? I'm fried and so am I? |
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Next thing you know we'll have the GM-Custard, Auto-stapling, Anti-Gravity inducing, Mmmm...smells fresh, Cloning Photocopier. |
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[Jurist] Despite the vague smell of sindged hair hanging about my person, I'm ignoring your comments. [silverstormer] I knew I should have copywritten my GM-Custard, Auto-stapling, Anti-Gravity inducing photocoppier idea. Does yours come with a panic pin for when the office bully is trying to force you to copy your work for them? |
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what did you do to get sindged hair. one of the seven deadly sinds? |
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[Jurist] was suggesting that I had mistaken my porcelain photocopier for a bathroom fixture. Which might well be the 8th deadly sin. Mind you - I don't actually know anyone who has photocopied their ass. Does it really happen? |
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Oh yes. Friends of mine, of course, not me. (_Y_) |
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I photocopied my mule once. |
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Do zebra have the same problem? There are obvious advantages to their black and whiteness. |
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I don't care about jams. I have that "magic touch" and can
clear them with ease-- but what I do like is the idea of a
copier made of a pleasing material, it'd be so much more
pleasing to use! |
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