h a l f b a k e r yKeep out of reach of children.
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I have recently (and for the first time in some while) been to the
Cinema. Here I was amazed and horrified by the prices of
popcorn,
and by the fact that you are not allowed to bring your own food.
"Enough!" I cried, in moral indignation "This is an outrage sir!"
"What?" said the popcorn
vendor. To this I had no immediate
reply.
So.
MaxCo. is pleased to announce the development of the MaxCo.
Personal Popcorn Hat.
Designed to look like a perfectly ordinary fez, the PPH conceals, in
its crown, a small but powerful heating element and a reservoir
which may be pre-loaded with a small amount of oil and a cupfull
of
unpopped popcorn.
Once the lights go down, simply activate the PPH by pulling the
tassle, and remain (this is really quite important) very very still.
The
rest is obvious. Catchers' mitts are included.
The PPH is best activated precisely 3 minutes before any scene
involving intense gunfire.
Grill_20Hat
similar [xenzag, Feb 20 2010]
Soundproofing kit fitted
http://www.allartpa...0.image.340x441.jpg
Pop art. [MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 20 2010]
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That would just be silly. |
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Alternatively (and much quieter and less likely to start a theater conflagration), you could ditch the heating elements, oil and unpopped popcorn, and instead fashion a stylish tophat entirely from sticky caramelized popcorn. No muss, no fuss, and it makes the phrase "I'll eat my hat!" an experience entirely worth anticipating. Also brings new meaning to "Pass the hat". |
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If you folk are not going to take this seriously, then neither
am I. |
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//perfectly ordinary fez// |
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Just like that! <croissant appears> |
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It was a magic fez. You just witnessed the famous disappearing croissant trick. |
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Is it soundproof? Won't the sound of popcorn popping annoy
the other theatergoers? |
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Spoon. Jar.
Jar. Spoon.
SpoonJar-JarSpoon
{search for "Tommy Cooper", Jar, Spoon; note headwear. Croissant} |
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This is flipping bakery brilliance. Well done. + |
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We have spent literally some money on trying to develop
silent popcorn. We did succeed, but the result, although
silent, was in fact just corn. |
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We do market a soundproofing kit, but this makes the PPH
rather bulky (see link). |
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For now, we recommend timing your popping pleasure to
coincide with the louder parts of the film. |
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Silent popcorn is easy. It's silent *corn popping* that poses
the difficulty. |
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(Good link. I tried googling "soundproof fez" & got nothing.) |
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Thermite. There should be thermite. Then again, thermite in a felt hat is probably non-optimal from a survivability viewpoint. |
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But the popcorn would definitely be fresh, and hot. |
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Perhaps this would work best with a two-for-one cinema ticket offer, where you watched the movie and ate your popcorn and left promptly before the lights went up the staff noticed that your companion's skull (or, strictly speaking, the remains thereof) was full of molten iron ? Probably not good on a first date. |
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