h a l f b a k e r yClearly this is a metaphor for something.
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I came up with this idea while watching BBC Parliament : House Of Lords. I realised that it was extremely boring watching Lord Such and Such, thanking the men on the Toilet Committe for their excellent work (amongst other things). I'm just glad they didn't hand out their findings.
I thought that it
would be a good idea for debates and stuff to be had in forms of poetry, for example:
The First Debate On A Bill
Rhyming Couplets
The Second Debate On A Bill
14-Line Sonnets
The Third Debate On A Bill
Those For : Limerick
Those Against : Free Verse in Seven Stanzas Or Less.
For organizations like youth councils, there desiscions should be debated in Rock/Pop.
Add some more if you wish, but you get the jist.
Poetic Legalese
http://www.halfbake...a/Poetic_20Legalese
similar idea [wiml, Aug 24 2001]
[link]
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yes you are good UnaBubba but long |
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For world trade we have, with ease, forgot our cause
that as a sovereign nation we should always stand
the laws we’ve made are filled with fatal flaws
and all we do is meet others’ demands |
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I would not say that free trade is all wrong
it’s has a way of making our wealth grow
grow for some, that’s true, and they grow strong
But for all? I’m sorry I don’t know |
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and there is another matter here
our friends in other countries live as slaves
on this we should make our feelings clear
and send the slaves’ oppressors to their graves |
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but if we bring this fever to a hush
will we see the enemy is us? |
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I must oppose the member's stance
Proposing zero tolerance
Against those lovely mellow folk
Who care to partake of a toke. |
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I feel it's bad enough, you see
To tar with criminality
True, they may damage their health
But they hurt nobody but themself. |
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Then Condit could rhyme hisself:
versed freely---
Name's Gary Condit
Congress?
I conned it. |
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Condidit.
Condidn't he?
-- Ogden Nash |
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"honourable member, do stop your bleating
I ought to give you such a beating!
to introduce such a bill,
you unrepresentative swill..."
but the speaker said "quiet down, keating!" |
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(PS: "extremely boring watching Lord Such and Such", maybe, but never boring watching Lord Sutch!) |
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Also, I think interjections and points of order simply MUST be in haiku. |
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a point of order --
member did not speak in verse.
just so much hot air.
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should the interjection fail to meet standards, then punishment might be as severe as a censure motion (in iambic pentameter) for a major offense (like an incorrect syllable count), down to suspension, accompanied by a quick burst of beat poetry from the speaker, for a minor offense (like omitting the seasonal reference). |
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The speaker of the house would, of course, be equipped with a set of bongos and a goatee for this purpose. |
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how now, crazy member
springwinter, autumnsummer: willowtree, lotusblossom: forget-it-not
flee this chamber
don't come back
until tomorrow
ungroovy. |
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<clicking fingers> Cool, daddio. |
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I’m a thinkin' all 'o this "creativity" aint required. |
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Perhaps the lyrics of suitably chosen songs could be begged borrowed or stolen rather than the politicians having to come up with their own verse. Lyrics when read with the right tone can have all the effect of poetry. Besides, I suspect politicians would not make great poets. Some examples I hear you ask? |
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tony blair:
A crash in the economy robbed me of my family
And no strategy combats negative equity
so that's it. Like violence it's drastic
I'm freaking', and seekin' to be more than just a house of crack...
-Faithless |
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George Bush Jr:
HUH, a young nigga on the warpath,
And when I'm finished, it's gonna be a bloodbath,
of cops, dyin in L.A.
Yo Dre, I got somethin to say. |
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Fuck the police [scratch, scratch]
Fuck the police [scratchy, scratch, scratch]
Fuck the police [scratchedy, scratchedy]
Fuck the police [scratch, scratch, boom]
-NWA |
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John Howard:
Rip Rip Woodchip turn it in to paper,
throw it in the bin, no news today,
nightmare dreaming can't you hear the screaming,
Chainsaw, eyesore, more decay.
-John Williamson |
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