h a l f b a k e r yIf ever there was a time we needed a bowlologist, it's now.
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Contents:
100g Plastique
Miniature timer/detonator
Intructions:
1) Park vehicle and insert coins into meter as appropriate.
2) Remove plastique and rub between palms until it forms a string approximately 20cm in length.
3) Wrap plastique around pole of meter, just below meter
head.
4) Set timer/detonator to the time displayed on the meter using the +/- buttons.
5) Press red button to arm and insert into plastique.
6) When returning to vehicle, remove timer/detonator and disarm by holding all three buttons for five seconds.
If you are delayed for any reason while away from your vehicle, you can relax safe in the knowledge that your meter will have been beheaded before the "Time Expired" message is displayed.
[link]
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//Remove plastique and rub between palms// |
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<observes, runs for cover with hands over ears> |
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I've got a better idea - stay in your car, put some fresh
bread on the dashboard, wrap the plastique around your
neck, insert the detonator, reach the string out for me
to pull on.... should toast and jam it nicely. |
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It's a good job you know how to spell [wags], otherwise I might've confused this with a three-foot-odd tall, lightweight device for executing French people. |
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excellent but surely explosives are baked or blown up or something. |
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