Plastic Salad Ha Ha Bonk

I'm not going to lie and say this idea is entirely unconnected to "Fill Your Home With Nitrogen", so before anyone else points this out, I'll do so pre-emptively.

Idea # 1:

Various food and drink comes with added gaseous nitrogen nowadays to keep it fresh. Breathing pure(ish) nitrogen is supposed to lead to a relatively painless and distress-free death. Therefore, for those wishing such a fate, I suggest that they buy a respirator, a series of straws and several hundred packets of salad. They then attach the straws to the respirator and carefully pierce the salad packets with the straws at the other end, then just lie back and breathe their last.

Idea # 2:

Packaged salad comes with added gaseous nitrogen nowadays to keep it fresh. Breathing pure(ish) nitrogen is supposed to lead to a relatively painless and distress-free death, so it probably wouldn't be good if you were to inhale the nitrogen a lot. However, there is also a compound of nitrogen which is recreational in action - nitrous oxide. I therefore suggest that instead of packaging salad with nitrogen, the sad, previously suicidal loner takes her packet of sad, plasticky veg back to her bedsit and opens it alone, only to find it contains not nitrogen but laughing gas, and therefore achieves that holy grail of becoming a woman laughing alone with salad, which might make her a bit happier for a while.