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Let's be honest - fingernails do not give the same pleasure as toenails (for those of us that bite them). Fingernails are too weak. However toenails take too long to grow into hard chewable / 'pushable-between-the-teeth' pieces.
Now, for less than the price of a packet of cigarettes, you can buy
a packet of 50 shaped plastic toenail cuttings. Marketed under licence, there are 2 different strengths
'Lite' - These are just 0.5cm long for that quick fix
'Xtra' - 1.0cm long for 10-15 minute relaxation.
(Thanks to Helium for planting this in my head)
flash chewy nails
http://www.halfbake...ash_20chewy_20nails
[po, Oct 04 2004]
[link]
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For extra realism, forget using plastic ones - I'll sell you my old clippings for a small fee and you can repackage them and sell them on for a profit. In fact you don't even need to tell your customers they are real rather than plastic if you don't want to. I'm still giggling at the idea of strangers chomping on my nail-waste. |
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Thanks Po. I'd reckon gelatin would be too soft - plus I don't want to actually eat them. There's nothing as pleasurable than biting and then trying to spit them out of the car window (which is opened only 1 inch) - or various other nail-sports. |
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-dobtabulous- I think that mass-produced ones would be cheaper and always available. However, for stinking rich people who want the real thing, we could set up a seperate division. Can you supply 1cm lengths? |
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wow....that is crazy....i would feel really bad for anyone that actually bought such an item. but i got a great laugh out of it. |
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I have a friend that has baked this! He cut off pieces of plastic tubing commonly used in house construction here. It looked EXACTLY like the real thing, color, texture... |
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oh dear oh dear oh dear... |
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I wasn't over keen on the image of toe-nail biting to begin with, but then: |
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//There's nothing as pleasurable than biting and then trying to spit them out of the car window...// |
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Now, I don't know what worries me more: |
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1) the idea of people chewing their own toes |
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2) the idea of people chewing their toes WHILE DRIVING |
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[seedy em] I'd be more worried about being hit by flying, toe-nail-ridden spit wads from [effaduck]'s car as it swerves past (him steering with one foot while chewing on the other]. |
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And [effaduck], I could supply 1cm lengths if I cut them down but wouldn't the full 15cm talons be more valuable? For an extra fee I won't scrape off the yellowy-black goo that always seems to accumulate underneath them. |
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Actually... I exaggerated - I don't actually bite them from my toes while driving - I pick them with my worn-down fingernails. . A lot more effort - and they don't have a nice shape. [dobtabulous] Keep the Yellow-black goo - that's the secret of the 15cm talons. You'd probably substitute the black smelly goo from between your toes - unless you're ISO 9002 registered. |
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Are shares available yet in this life changing product?
I have not had the flexibility since childhood to enjoy actually biting my own toenails and have to often endured the painfull "bleeder" from peeling them to far down the nail with my fingers, simply trying to get a thick chunker up to my mouth. My girlfreind saves her finger nails after clipping for me to munch on but I'm not into tasting anyone elses bodily bi-product. Full sized toe nails would be a real treat and perhaps allow me to grow my own finger nails for the first time. |
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Sorry guys but this is not very ethical plus it's just plain disgusting. Fishbone. |
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[jjbaby], thank you for bringing this one hit wonder back to the fore. The ephemeral [effaduck] certainly has a way with words, and for the barely-open car window image, I grant bread. |
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