Plantomatic

I pull into the petrol station in my hefty Hummer, insert the fuel nozzle and in goes all that lovely fossil fuel. There's no guilt for me as I move on and insert the water nozzle and then start to load a belt of saplings into my Plantomatic.

As I gaze across the forecourt I notice an attractive young lady sliding a magazine of seedlings into her hatchback and a geeky young man awkwardly sticking a clip of seeds in his scooter.

I set off down the road and it's not long before a gentle beep tells me that the onboard forestry-commission-regulated GPS has found a suitable spot. Seconds later a sapling traces a graceful arc to the embankment and the self-shattering pointed wooden tip, burrows into the ground.

A little further down the road, a large dollop of water spurts skywards showering a rainbow tinted rain over one of the young pines I planted when I last travelled along this road a few months ago. Yes, it's coming along nicely.

BTW, can we have an 'environment' or 'conservation' category please?