h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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If you're like most gardeners, you'll know what it feels like to sit on your porch, looking out over your garden, and realise, "This is a nice garden, but what it really needs, the one thing that's missing, is an orrery."
Well, look no further! We orrery have your orrery packed and ready to ship,
and it'll be on its way to you just as soon as your order is processed! Call us now!
Your home garden orrery kit consists of one large ceramic Sun pot, and eight planet pots - representing the four terrestrial planets, and the four gas giants. (And if you order within the next hour, you'll receive three dwarf planet pots absolutely free!!!)
Along with the Sun pot and the planet pots included is one rock representing the moon (or The Moon, Cedric, Please Spray or Neuter Your Cat, or whatever name it's now known by). Moons for other planets are also available, sold separately.
The computer is in the base of the Sun pot. Use the remote control (requires 2xAA batteries, not included) to select the width of your garden, the start date, and the speed. Maximum speeds depend on garden size: for example, from -100 to +100 Earth years per hour, for a 10-metre-diameter arrangement.
Once you have your Sun pot in position, the planet pots will automatically move to the correct location relative to the Sun pot, and then trundle quietly around their orbits, guided by the computer in the Sun pot.
Each planet pot, and the Sun pot, can be filled with the floral display of your choice. Sunflowers are a popular choice for the Sun pot, and perhaps poppies for Mars, the god of war? Some of our customers even put goldfish in the Neptune pot. The only limits are your imagination! Oh, and the (very reasonable) weight limits.
As for the pots themselves, they can be supplied pre-painted or unpainted. Simply state your preference when you place your order. Once you've added your plants to the pots, you can sit back, relax, and enjoy your garden in all its orrerical awesomeness, its planetary perfection.
See how the planets were aligned when you were born. Relax as you become enchanted by the music of the spheres. (Not just a metaphor: as a token of our appreciation, we include a CD of Holst's 'Planet Suite' with every purchase.) With your Garden Orrery, you can see a year in a day, every day of the year!
And remember, if you call within the next hour you'll receive the three dwarf planet pots (Ceres, Pluto and Eris) absolutely free! So don't delay - phone today!
Orrery
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orrery
[imaginality, Nov 15 2006]
Give the Moon a Name
Give_20the_20Moon_20a_20Name
Lunar lunacy [imaginality, Nov 15 2006]
Infinite Garden
Infinite_20Garden
The indirect inspiration for this idea (thanks [GumBob]) [imaginality, Nov 15 2006]
Solar System
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_system
[imaginality, Nov 15 2006]
Solar System Bowls
Solar System Bowls
For eating your breakfast while sitting in the garden. [zen_tom, Nov 15 2006]
Armagh Human Orrery
http://www.irishsci...ntxsl=is05pages.xsl
An astropark landscape orrery built to 1 meter to 1 AU (astronomical unit) scale, or 1:150 billion, in which people play the role of the moving planets. [jurist, Nov 18 2006]
orrery image
http://usuarios.lyc...s/observatory01.jpg
The Dark Crystal, in Aughra's observatory [undata, Nov 19 2006]
slightly off-topic
http://news.bbc.co..../nature/6191462.stm
but very impressive [pertinax, Nov 30 2006]
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I'm picturing suspended moss baskets so that you can walk among them without mechanisms getting in the way. Eliptical orbits would be possible as well. |
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I can't believe you didn't make the computer solar powered. Or would that defy the laws of physics? |
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That's a very nice touch, [NTSS]. You're right, I should've thought of that - alas, my mind was looking punwards rather than sunwards. Garden Orrery 2.0 will definitely be fully solar-powered! |
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I'd buy this. What do you figure the garden scale is, with and without the dwarf planet pots? (I'm guessing that if Pluto at 39AU is represented as being as large as a demitasse cup then something larger than a 10-metre-diameter arrangement will be required for accuracy.) If Sol is buried in the ground at its equatorial waistline, will we be able to still see out of our windows on that side of the house where the orrery is installed? |
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[Hint from the www.nineplanets.org link found on the Solar System Bowls idea: "One way to help visualize the relative sizes in the solar system is to imagine a model in which everything is reduced in size by a factor of a billion. Then the model Earth would be about 1.3 cm in diameter (the size of a grape). The Moon would be about 30 cm (about a foot) from the Earth. The Sun would be 1.5 meters in diameter (about the height of a man) and 150 meters (about a city block) from the Earth. Jupiter would be 15 cm in diameter (the size of a large grapefruit) and 5 blocks away from the Sun. Saturn (the size of an orange) would be 10 blocks away; Uranus and Neptune (lemons) 20 and 30 blocks away. A human on this scale would be the size of an atom but the nearest star would be over 40000 km away." ] |
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Yes. You're missing something. God knows how you managed it. Google Pluto. |
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The whole, Pluto losing its planet status, thing is fairly new isn't it? |
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Everything you needed to know was in the links, [21 Quest]. |
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+ I love it. I was really upset when Pluto lost its planetshipness. I posted an idea to use the name Pluto as a term for being *demoted* or basically just dissed. (It got mfd for word invention) I got plutoed! |
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I'm glad Pluto didn't get *totally* plutoed, though. (Or, rather, totally humiliated; by definition, it got totally plutoed.) 'Dwarf planet' has a nice ring to it, compared to 'random lump of rock'. In the planetary pantheon, Pluto's now a demi-god, which is still better than being a mere mortal. |
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By the way, [jurist], most orreries (including this one) aren't to scale. The relative motions of the planet pots are accurate, but the size of the pots and the radius of their orbits are de-extremified. (There might be a better word for that, but I'm sticking with 'de-extremified', I like it.) |
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I knew that. It said so in your links. I just would have preferred it to have been an accurate representation, given the land, means, and opportunity to do so. I always wondered what it would be like to have my own personal Stonehenge in the lower section. |
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What a beautiful idea. (Too bad I first read
it as "orgy". But I didn't know what an
orrery was till I checked out the link). |
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Not orreryy enough. Make it orreryer
and you will have my vote. |
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An orgy would be acceptible as well, though. |
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If you're having a garden orgy near a garden orrery, be careful to watch out for the moving planet pots... the accident could be painful enough without the puns that would inevitably ensue. |
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I'm sorry, [bungston], I can't design a special, extra-orrerical garden orrery just for you, orreryone else will want one too. However I did come up with that extra pun just for you. Will that do? |
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