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Piratical Measurements

 "No foolhardier than a raid on a paper fort!"
  (+13, -5)(+13, -5)
(+13, -5) 		  [vote for,
against]

New, standardized measurements with a pirate theme, one month (fashionably) late for Talk Like a Pirate Day.

-"A sunken skull" (mass, vol): 2.439 kg, or 1.4 L

-"a sabre's thickness" (length): 2mm

-"A doubloon" (mass, length): 7g, 6cm, 1 cm (thickness)

-"A doubloon's throw" (length): 100m

-"A beard's length" (length): 30cm

-"A pegleg" (weight): 3.6 kg

-"A parrot's squawk" (volume): 80 dB

And so on and so forth as the language evolves.

EDIT: Recommended additions filtered through my own brain:

"Plank" (length): 2M

"1 Keel-haul" (length): 1km

"Tankard" (Volume): 750 mL

"Close as a cabin-boy's stubble" (length): .05mm

"Drop from the crow's nest" (time): 2.5 seconds

"Black as the inside o' me eyepatch" (intensity of light): 0 lux

"Dead Man's Chest" (Area) - 1.5 m^2

—shapu, Oct 12 2005

Doubloon's throw http://www.chatterf...orge_and_walter.htm
Walter Johnson launched a silver dollar 317 feet a few years ago... [shapu, Oct 12 2005]

Parrot's screech volume http://www.thepolit...t.com/askjudy.shtml
[shapu, Oct 12 2005]

Viscosity units http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viscosity
[2 fries], consider yourself shown. [Texticle, Oct 13 2005]

Perfect liquid http://66.102.7.104...+viscosity%22&hl=en
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 14 2005]

(?) Miner's canary http://www.craigsli.../vnn/103031507.html
Early warning [AliMon, Oct 16 2005]


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Annotation:







       "yardarm" or "plank" might be good for length   

       "tankard" for volume (Isn't that what they call that thing they drink ale from?)
—half, Oct 12 2005
   

       who are you kidding?
—po, Oct 12 2005
   

       That's a thick sabre. Good for bludgeoning people, not so good for cutting people.
—Texticle, Oct 12 2005
   

       [po], who's who kidding? You sayin' I'm a pirate?
—half, Oct 12 2005
   

       [texticle]: I was thinking on the backside.
—shapu, Oct 12 2005
   

       saying you know a tankard when you see one.
—po, Oct 12 2005
   

       I must bone this idea for 2 reasons. 1: Measurements should be described insofar as they a greater or lesser than a standard. 2: The described standard should be colorfully off color, if not downright obscene.   

       EG: "Smaller than me parrots pecker"; "Rounder than a harlots bosom" etc. Though even those seem too tame to me.
—bungston, Oct 12 2005
   

       /I was thinking on the backside/   

       So was I.   

       2mm may be more appropriate.
—Texticle, Oct 12 2005
   

       This idea may be teetering on the brink of a, lets all, list, and I really shouldn't but...   

       "Close as a cabin boys stubble" (length): smaller than a blonde one
"Long as a crows nest drop" (time): 'bout 2.5 seconds
"Black as an eye patch innard" (measure of light) nil
"Slick as a scurvy dogs' slobber" (viscosity): currently no unit of measurement exists so you could be on to something...		   

       ...yar   

       No unit for viscosity?! Plenty.
—Texticle, Oct 13 2005
   

       Show me.   

       [-]. Nothing against the idea. I've just seen more than enough pirate ideas this month.
—hidden truths, Oct 13 2005
   

       Come back in a trip to the Barbary, then.
—shapu, Oct 13 2005
   

       /Show me/   

       OK, link attached.
—Texticle, Oct 13 2005
   

       Ah. My bad, I been showed. I skimmed over this article, [link], a bit too quickly.
Dang you Evelyn Woods!		   

       1 Keel-haul-meter = 1 km
1 Jolly Rodger = 6 inches
—Ling, Oct 13 2005
   

       //1 Jolly Rodger // = 30 minutes
—coprocephalous, Oct 13 2005
   

       An art work by Cornelia Parker as part of her Turner prize 1997 submission: a Georgian silver spoon drawn out into a wire as long as the Niagara Falls are high.
—xenzag, Oct 13 2005
   

       How would pirates measure radiation?
—jellydoughnut, Oct 13 2005
   

       "Webster's Pirate/Englih Dictionary"
—jellydoughnut, Oct 13 2005
   

       //How would pirates measure radiation?//   

       Becqarrrrels?
—shapu, Oct 13 2005
   

       There has to be something more original than that.
—jellydoughnut, Oct 13 2005
   

       Perhaps more original, but I find it very satisfying to say.
—shapu, Oct 13 2005
   

       //How would pirates measure radiation?//
With a Geiger counter?
—Ling, Oct 14 2005
   

       Honestly, can you see a man with a peg leg, eye patch, a three-pointed hat, a parrot, and "booty" using a Geiger counter?   

         

       Because I sure could! :)
—jellydoughnut, Oct 14 2005
   

       //"swag"// I think you're confusing pirate stereotypes with burglar stereotypes.
—coprocephalous, Oct 14 2005
   

       "Swag" is universal, but for the sake of evading argument, I'll change it to booty.
—jellydoughnut, Oct 15 2005
   

       That's why pirates have parrots on their shoulders. If the parrot dies they know levels of radiation are too high. Just like miners and canaries (see link)
—AliMon, Oct 16 2005
   

       "Squawk! Pieces of Lithium Isotope 8"
—Ling, Oct 17 2005
   

       He's really a cancer in the locker room.   

       (Yes, it did take me 10 months to think that up)
—shapu, Aug 23 2006
   

       Shiver me timbers: unit of vibration.
—Ling, Aug 24 2006
   

       A Dead Man's Chest = about 15 square feet. i.e. the minimum about of space 15 men (and a bottle of rum) can comfortably be expected to stand up in whilst a Yo-ho-hoing.
—zen_tom, Aug 24 2006
   

       What's the volume of a cannonball, matey? What's the volume of a cannonball, matey? What's the volume of a cannonball, matey? Ear-ly in the morning?   

       It be four thirds - Pie - Arrrrrrr Cubed, It be four thirds - Pie - Arrrrrrr Cubed, It be four thirds - Pie - Arrrrrrr Cubed, Ear-ly in the morning!
—strange606, Aug 24 2006
   

       I suspect a keel-haul would be far less than 1km. They generally ran from one side of the ship to the other, making even 30 meters a bit generous.   

       Cannonblast: measure of volume.   

       Doubloon: Mesure of weight   

       City on flames: Measure of luminosity   

       Wanton wench: measure of heat, equal to approximately 115 f each.   

       Wanton wenche's favors: Measure of time... varies greatly by user.   

       Broadside attack: Measure of time.   

       pace o'the deck: Measure of time.   

       Snap o' the jolly Roger: Measure of wind force.   

       Snaps o' the jolly Roger per paces o' the deck: Measure of wind speed.
—ye_river_xiv, Aug 24 2006
   

       I want to know who's throwing doubloons, so I can go around picking them up afterwards. Those things are valuable, you know.
—pertinax, Sep 20 2006
   

       Twice as much as a singloon...
—Ling, Sep 20 2006
   

       Aharrrrrrrr! What be ye metric measurements doing on the Spanish Main! Keel haul the filthy Eurocrats!! I think we need to re-establish the Firkin-Furlong-Fortnight alternative to SI...
—Azazello, Sep 20 2006
   

       The precision of focus, for a lens system or a projected image, should be measured in pints of rum, inversely proportional.   

       Radiation could go with a city on flames, but the wavelength of light should be measured in how many liquor stores and gun shops are burning with it.   

       Fourier analysis of waves could be generalized to the height of the sea, which can be measured in the number of steps a seasoned sailer needs to take to stay upright, with a correction factor as to whether one of the legs is made of wood.   

       The best unit of energy I can think of is in handfuls of black powder.   

       Then, there's always the unit of patience: how many steps you get to take off the plank before you're just kicked
—kevinthenerd, Jun 10 2008
   


 

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