Piranha Dishwasher

Piranhas. Voracious little buggers, aren’t they? Strip a cow to the bone in under 30 seconds, so they say. If only such powers could be used for good instead of evil…

Well, perhaps now they can, with the timely invention of the Piranha Dishwasher. It looks just like a normal dishwasher, but has a glass door so you can watch the little piscine terrors at work. Adjacent to the dishwasher itself is a tank filled with freshwater (because strangely, even though they’re none too fussy about what they eat, they do prefer their water un-condimented) and a couple of hundred needle-toothed fishy menaces. Load the machine with all your dirty dishes as usual, close the door and press the “start” button. Said piranhas are then unleashed into the dishwasher, and, in a fishy feeding frenzy, proceed to scour every last crumb of food residue from your dirty dishes. Through the glass frontage you get to see the water roil and bubble as these little devils do their stuff – then, after about ten seconds or so, when the water has calmed and the piranhas are just swimming about looking bored (but full), you press another button and water and fishes are siphoned back into their holding tank. Leaving you with an impressively clean set of dishes upon which you’d be proud to serve food to any visiting dignitary.

The deluxe version also incorporates a big box of kittens stored on the opposite side from the piranhas (because it could get ugly if ever the twain should meet), who, after all the water has drained away, will use their rough, barnacle-encrusted tongues to add a final perfect shine to all your kitchenware.