h a l f b a k e r yThe phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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A picture speaks 1k words, so I urge you, for the sake of brevity to refer to the link(s) below.
The invention consists of a desk, from which a strong wire, or pinion protrudes, at the end of which is firmly attached, a pipe.
The photographer arranges their camera, lighting and backdrop in such
a way as to capture the scene reliably - and repeatably.
Then, coming around in front of the lens, the photographer sits at the table, leaning forward convivially and placing the suspended pipe into their mouth and looking into the camera lens.
Upon sucking on the pipe, a trigger is released and the photograph taken.
The beauty of this device is the homogenity of the photographs so produced, allowing the studio to automate the process and for the authorities to reliably collect biometric information.
One such picture, taken yesteryear.
http://en.wikipedia...iki/Gerard_Hoffnung
[zen_tom, Jan 26 2011]
Another
http://www.history....s/h86000/h86100.jpg
only this one has had the supporting pinion "airbrushed" out. [zen_tom, Jan 26 2011]
Another version - sans table
http://www.gettyima...2286/Hulton-Archive
[zen_tom, Jan 26 2011]
Alternate Telephone Version of the Apparatus
http://www.gettyima...7258/Hulton-Archive
[zen_tom, Jan 26 2011]
A more flexible arrangement
http://www.google.c...ATcvAIYuIhQeGn6CkAw
[DrBob, Jan 26 2011]
It was only a matter of time...
http://upload.wikim...b9/MagrittePipe.jpg
until someone mentioned this one. [Canuck, Jan 26 2011]
Would also work
http://www.flickr.c...762@N03/2171677617/
... in a standing configuration [AntiQuark, Jan 26 2011]
Group portrait setup
http://www.flickr.c.../pool-36054733@N00/
The pipes in this case would be strung on a horizontal wire. [AntiQuark, Jan 26 2011]
Welcome to the Austrian Passport Office
http://www.google.c...21&biw=1321&bih=790
[MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 26 2011]
[link]
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The pipe mouthpiece could also collect a DNA sample and dental records. |
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Sounds like a splendid idea all round. One slight improvement, to my mind, would be to get rid of the pinion and, instead, suspend the pipe by a wire from above which can be disguised to look like tobacco smoke. This enables the photograph to be taken from a number of different, pre-set angles whilst allowing the pipe to be held in a natural seeming position (per linked illustration). |
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//Upon sucking on the pipe// |
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But surely you have to blow into the pipe, to make the bubbles come out? |
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So, not a bagpipe? Disappointed. |
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It could be - and that would lead to a Matrix-style bullet-time shot of many stills taken at the same time. Of course, you'd be sacrificing the sartorial elegance and au-de-smug that the original idea contains. |
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// So, not a bagpipe? Disappointed. // |
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So, not a bagpipe? Relieved. |
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If you put a sugary substance on the pipe, it would also help with photographing fidgety children and babies. [+] |
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A more banal version of this idea is used in medical imaging,
under the name "bite block." |
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I don't get why the pipe can't be held by the user.
Remote camera triggers are small and wireless. |
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