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Pez Bar
For all the naughty little Bakelings out there. This product is not intended to clean anything or anyone. | |
Munching on some Pez today at work, I noticed they look like
miniature bars of soap. This got me thinking...
A pez brick that's individually packaged and as big as a standard bar of
soap. The wrapper has a bogus name printed on it and is designed to
look like a normal bar of soap. When mom
makes
you put a bar of
soap in your mouth, a little preplanning and maybe some sleight of
hand will allow you to ride out the punishment in style.
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Annotation:
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I think it's cute - bun for fun. + |
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+ For the idea, + for calling me naughty,
+ for calling me a bakeling. (first time I believe.)
Bonus Points for the impracticality of it 2.
Total Net Gain=5 |
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The idea behind the soap-in-mouth punishment is that you're
literally
going to wash the filth out of your mouth. It's usually done as
punishment for children using foul language, designed to
associate swearing with a nasty taste. Ever seen the 1983
movie "A Christmas Story"? It's a classic, and has a famous scene
involving this punishment. My mom used to use it on me and my
siblings. |
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Oh. Well they enforce it here. Used to, anyway. Boy, did it work! I
learned *very* quickly not to swear around Mom. Dad was a
little more cool about it. |
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We did it one time, but it was more for the fun of just saying we did it.
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I do like the idea of a big solid brick of candy. They sell candy logs (think big candy canes without the bend) and those are fan-fucking-tastic. Ooh! <grabs for fake soap> + |
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(-) It kind of squicks me that you think this is fun or acceptable. I mean, amongst consenting adults, go ahead, eat all the soap you want - but to force children to eat soap for something they said seems barbaric. |
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That's why I made the Pez Bar, Jutta. To help the kids get
through it. Besides, you're not supposed to *eat* the soap. You
just hold it in your mouth for a few minutes then rinse. |
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Whatever. Neither of these is the kind of lightweight thing that I'd find it appropriate to counter with a prank or sleight of hand. |
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In a real fantasy universe, the adults will have fake fake soap. Which is simply soap packaged in something close to the pez bar. As the vicious cold rivalry ensures, the warring factions will develop advanced means of subterfuge: sprayable coatings that can cover any bar, fake fake fake soap, fake sprayable coatings, fake fake sprayable coatings, pills and injections that block out the activity of taste buds, fake pills and injections, dummy mouths that attach to the side of your face, dummy mouth recognition tools, dummy mouth recognition recognition tools, etc. |
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jutta- I do not think that anyone was made to actually EAT soap. The term is a threat to scare kids so they won't have *dirty* mouths. Even if one time I did try to stick a bar of soap in my daughter's mouth as she was swearing at age 14, it turned into a laughing matter, because no one is going to willingly let it happen. |
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"go wash your mouth out with soap"
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pretty common, growing up, whether it was an actual punishment or just a threat, it's a pretty classic phrase. He isn't promoting child abuse, [jutta]. |
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Thought this was going to be an upscale little cafe' where you chose between millions and millions of fun little dispensers full of candy. |
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No offense, but that would have been a better idea.
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It's come to my attention that the social activity of beer drinking in bars serves to either a) tend the fires of alcoholism or b) make otherwise directionless souls look like they're doing something while they pray for new and old companionship.
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Pez Bars would serve the latter group nicely. Coke goes great with pez. Diabetic clinics could be set up next door. |
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I wouldn't necessarily call it a *better* idea... but it's certainly
just as good. Post it and I'll bun it! Call it the Candy Bar. |
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