h a l f b a k e r yThe phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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Showering for me can often be perplexing, and this makes me wonder that perhaps I'm just not doing it right. Sometimes I feel that I'm overusing the soap, or spending too long on my upper body and neglecting the leg area. Another common problem I find is the order of drying: should I start at the hair
and work my way down to the feet and why do I sometimes forget to do dry my back?
I blame parental guidance. Somewhere at a yong age my mother or father gave me some sort of cleaning instruction, but it was long forgotten, and I assume my parents were just as in the dark about proper cleaning techniques as I now am.
Ultimately I advocate a school program of shampooing, rinsing, cleansing and drying to all children of a certain age - but of course this does nothing for those of us who are everyday forced to do the deed as 'self taught' showerers.
Enter the personal shower trainer. He or she will stand next to you as you shower, giving advice and directions in a program designed to suit your level of ability. In a stern yet supportive voice they will shout cleaning drills at you - using the whistle about their neck every now and again - much as they might do if you were doing field exercises in the army or microsoft corporation etc.
A four to six day intensive program every morning for half an hour, carefully researched to make the experience as effective as possible, should then put any new recruit onto the path of cleanliness.
My retired Personal Shower Trainer
http://www.rogerlee...ages/atholhigh3.jpg [skinflaps, Sep 02 2005]
The Gilbreths ('Cheaper by the Dozen')
http://www.telelavo...lian%20Gilbreth.htm It's all about time and motion [ConsulFlaminicus, Sep 02 2005]
Slightly related...
http://blog.myspace...EA91E421AC515473101 A blog I wrote that gathered meaning from drying your hair after a shower. [Hunter79764, Nov 27 2006]
[link]
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"So, Mr. Lowandowski, it says here that you just recently left the priesthood. Why did you suddenly decide to switch over to the cleanliness teaching profession?" |
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Sounds like the recollection of someone I know who lived in an orphanage run by nuns for a few of her younger years, except it was a group drill that went on indefinitely. Oh, and without the //supportive// part. |
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I am sure the average escort agency could accommodate this. Just be careful not to mention the word "golden" when asking for shower services. |
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Aaaaah Miss Scott my sadistic boarder-mistress. |
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Do your hair first. It will drip over everything else first. My Mum taught me this!. |
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They already have these in prisons. |
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"Bend over and get the soap - bitch" |
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It may end up saving a lot of water, too. [+] |
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If you're too shy to have someone join you, you could just videotape yourself, and post it on the internet trying to get pointers. |
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My Dad had a beard while I was growing up... |
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I knew who's idea this was after the first sentence. |
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