h a l f b a k e r yAssume a hemispherical cow.
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A small device that can notify the wearer via a flashing light/alarm/small electric shock when they have said something unbelievably cocky.
The wearer is then in a full state of readiness for the impending failue/disaster that inevitably follows such a statement.
The device could be trained to spot
typically cocky statements like 'hey everyone, watch this', 'I can do better than that' or 'I'm the best....'
[link]
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OW ! Darned thing keeps shocking me ..... |
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Sounds like the latest in fate collision avoidance technology. Many a greek myth would have had happier endings. |
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This is an unbelievably poor ide...OUCH. |
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Okay, how does it recognize such statements? |
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A discrete microphone, connected to speech recognition. You would train it to your voice and the set of ridiculously arrogant statements that one is in the habit of making |
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You won't be laughing when I get 2 and a half cr - BZZZT - Ouch ! |
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Oh YEAH?! How bout THIS! DZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!!!! |
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and maybe a sarcasm meter for morons. |
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Can I get one of these that will inconspicuously shock *someone else* when they do this near me, or should I carry a cattle prod for that? |
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I just leave the batteries out now. It kept eating them. |
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[thumbwax] is at the gas station, filling and bragging about his ride when suddenly there's a fireball sufficient to drop [8th of 7]'s jaw... |
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brilliant. you are what makes this competition. |
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Rods: Reminds me of the "Kixxck!" sound this morning as my son hurried out the door and crushed the skull of a sparrow, deposited there by our hunter, gatherer cat. |
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Not WIBNI or magic. As explained, this device is pre-programmed to respond with voice recognition to a variety of phrases that would get the wearer in trouble. Entirely bakeable with a wearable computer, a microphone and a cattle prod. Should be able to scale the thing down to about wrist-watch size in a couple of years. |
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You think it'll take that lon..OUCH! |
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//filling and bragging//
Actually
bitching and moaning
would be more accurate, though it beats having a rice-bur *OW!* |
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Hm. Mine doesn't seem to be working. |
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No, the input amplifier saturated and then overloaded and burnt out, fourteen nanoseconds after poweron ...... |
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Thanks Cedar Park. It is entirely bakeable. I challange all those who fishbone me to justify ... bZZZT ouch again !
BTW I'm also working (under royal comission) on a special 'Personal Racist Remark Alarm' for Prince Philip. I suspect this is unbakeable though as it will have to be pre-cognitive and he is highly unpredictable. |
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Searching my encyclopedic memory (ie, Google)... ah yes, “How to win friends and electrocute yourself”, Cheers episode 7 of season 7. So now, which Cliff Clavin here did you have in mind? <snickers>
HEY! Now cut that out. |
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Beautiful. Simply set it to recognize personal pronouns describing oneself (I, me, mine, etc.) and shock accordingly, though simultaneously accompanied by a loud audio signal would be even better. |
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"Watch this" is often rewarded in a different fashion, one that usually requires band aids, stitches or a ride in an ambulace. |
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Yeah [nuclear_hobo]. Give one to Alanis Morissette. |
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