Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pedigree Basalt

 Crufts show for rocks instead of dogs
  (+10, -4)
(+10, -4) 		  [vote for,
against]

Exactly the same as Crufts, but instead of dogs competitors bring their favourite pet rock. The rocks are assembled, divided into categories, groomed, and primped. They would be paraded in various guises, and made to perform tricks to entertain the audience - like being thrown through hoops, balanced on heads, dropped on bare toes, rolled down slopes etc.

Speculation and expert commentary laced with appropriate geological jargon would punctuate the proceedings, with side displays of boulder maintenance, rock wisdom and unusual examples of cross breeding. For the finale, their proud owners would get to dress them up in little coats and dragged them around on leads in front of expert judges, posing them on pedestals for detailed inspection.

"And this year's Best in Show is the very cheeky little lump of black basalt"

—xenzag, Mar 13 2006

Crufts http://www.the-kenn.../crufts/welcome.asp
every day has its dog.....Mondog, Tuesdog, Wednesdog [xenzag, Mar 13 2006]

OT - But a great name for a company! http://www.schisthappens.co.nz/
[coprocephalous, Mar 13 2006]

[link]






       Australian Shepherd Rock.
—skinflaps, Mar 13 2006
   

       Metamorphic mongrels.
[EDIT] A Japanese schist-zu ?
—coprocephalous, Mar 13 2006
   

       Commentator 1 : She's from royal stock this stone - look at the cleavage on her! That xenophytic inclusion of peridodite does make her lovely and green.   

       Commentator 2 : Yep, I'd certainly agree that the ophiolitic serpentinised periodite is best in Igneous Class, but will she win the overall Petrologic Best in Show?
—jonthegeologist, Mar 13 2006
   

       I can't get too sedimental over a rock show, but I'll granite you [Jon] would be the best man-tle judge it.
—dentworth, Mar 13 2006
   

       No schist.
—normzone, Mar 14 2006
   

       Special categories for:
Cocker Spinel
Border Colliery Coal
—Ling, Mar 14 2006
   

       I'd like to come, but I'm just a rock-hound.
—lurch, Mar 14 2006
   
      
[annotate]
   


 

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