h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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So as soon as you are comfortably seated the door is free to be opened? Nice touch! |
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The pedal is positioned so that it is possible
to keep the door locked while seated by
applying modest pressure. |
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//Instead of relying on a bolt// |
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Thank gods - this idea cannot come a moment too
soon. Finally, we can get rid of that most
complex and unreliable mechanical contrivance,
the bolt. |
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With its panoply of intermeshing parts and its
reliance on the continued existence of the laws of
physics, the bolt is a precarious way to ensure
your defaecatory privacy. |
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You may have a suspiciously dark croissant. |
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21Quest is right, put the lever in the seat, no dudes need
to lock the door for a standing leak. But everyone requires
quiet solitude for a relaxing dump. Women can have
privacy for urination and defecation because they sit for
both. |
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Sorry but these are the considerations for this idea. *wunk* |
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//Women can have privacy for urination and defecation because they sit for both.// |
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//possible to keep the door locked while seated// assuming the user has a lower leg length longer than the rise of the throne. |
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Putting the pedal in the seat would also cater to seat-squatters and over-partition-peepers. |
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Though if it were in the seat it would no longer be a pedal. Anal perhaps? |
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//Putting the pedal in the seat// - does no one else stand up in order to give their nether regions a post-defacatory wipe with toilet paper? This might not be the ideal moment for someone to burst into the cubicle through the (now unlocked) door. |
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Depends what you like, [hip] ... |
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I assumed the seat mechanism wouldn't be body weight
actuated, but instead raising and lowering the seat
unlocked and locked the door. |
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// if it were in the seat it would no longer be a pedal.
Anal perhaps? // |
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Only if the latch/opener mechanism is actuated by the
contraction of one's anal sphincter. |
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I don't usually say this, but why? |
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Perhaps there should be a complex mechanical interlock between the pedal and the arsenal (?) so that the door remains locked whether you are standing or seated or any other position resting on the seat or on the floor. |
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A simpler and more universal implementation of this involves mounting the entire cubicle on a spring-loaded lever. The weight of the occcupant would lower the entire cubicle by a small amount to engage the lock. Flexible couplings would be needed to connect the water and sewage pipes. |
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Not sure then how you would get out though. |
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[pocmloc] Jump in the air while pushing on the door, of course. |
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[pocmloc], what you're proposing is
expensive, unnecessarily complex, failure-
prone, difficult to install and maintain, and
lacking insight into the actual problem
requiring solution. |
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A bright future beckons you - we understand
Boeing are recruiting … |
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//does no one else stand up in order to give their nether regions a post-defacatory wipe with toilet paper?//
This is an interesting thing. On another forum the topic of bum-wiping cropped up, with a roughly 50/50 split between people saying "you wipe your bum standing up?! What is wrong with you?!" and people saying "What is wrong with you?! you wipe your bum sitting down?!" I suppose people just tend not to talk about it, and come to their bum-wiping routine independent of social pressure. This might, indeed, be fertile ground for a rigorous study of the impact of social forces on wholly private behaviour. |
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//This might not be the ideal moment for someone to burst into the cubicle through the (now unlocked) door.//
... and you with a clump of white loo roll wedged between your buttocks like a Poundland Playboy bunny. |
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And more than 50% of the world's population would say "You *wipe* your bum? What's wrong with you?" |
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//On another forum the topic of bum-wiping cropped up// - in a way, I am somewhat relieved (no pun intended) that there are specialist forums for this kind of thing. |
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// a roughly 50/50 split // |
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That's a really ugly image, right there ... |
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Truth is profane. I suppose wiping sitting down creates
more of an illusion of not doing anything just sitting here
innocently with my hands well in my lap. |
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So you reach down the front to wipe? Amazing! |
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No actually I lift my leg and go through the side. |
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That's another really ugly image, right there ... |
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[+]... and... I would suggest a suitably rough carpet runner for those adventuresome souls who might prefer to wipe their bum by dragging it along the floor like a dog (judging from the look on most dogs faces, it is a pleasurable experience). Sensors could indicate when the carpet runner is used for that purpose, so carpet runner on a roll (with a takeup reel, of course) seems to make the most sense from a half-baked hygienically-minded perspective... Once the prospective wiper is down on the floor, and after a suitable wiping distance, said wiper might actually be past the door, perhaps negating the need for a latch in the first place. Oh, and one more thing: I'm glad evolution never provided humans with long ivory tusks. |
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That's yet another really ugly ... oh, what's the use ? |
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<wanders off to consider deleting entire idea> |
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I'm delighted I could be of service... |
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//of service// you mean lying prone on the floor...? |
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Well, it would be an improvement on his
usual pose of lying prone in a gutter … |
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Ahhh, the good old days... (hey, where's my wallet?) |
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Double good for janitors. Complicated mechanism will take hours to fix and might involve some tile work.
Overtime! |
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Will be easier then cawing under the stall door to release the pranksters bolt. Just push the brick off the foot pedal with your mop. |
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aww, I thought this would be a bicycle pedal type of
thing, where if you want privacy you have to do a
workout. The pedal could run a dynamo, which
powers a small bluetooth
device that sends a wireless message to the rfid
low power consumption mechanism in the door,
replacing the
bolt with some other type of lightening, to zap the
person trying to enter. |
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