h a l f b a k e r yThe mutter of invention.
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Carrying a mobile phone can be tiresome (and potentially dangerous) but without one you are hard to reach.
So my proposed solution is to take out a subscription that provides you with a hat that possesses a unique symbol that can be read by a spy satellite. This allows you to be tracked you as you
walk around outside.
When someone tries to phone you (each subscription provides you with a number) the closest phone to you, whether it be a phone booth or someone else's mobile, goes off and if you don't answer it the other person can potentially be persuaded to pass on a message or hand it over.
Remember all switched on mobiles are tracked and all phone booths are usually plotted on a geographic database to make maintenance easier.
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Obviously getting people, to hand over their phones (or pass on messages) would be challenging but one hopes that the wearers of these hats would be seen as a better class of person that can be trusted ... |
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After all are we not just minions to carry phones for our betters, who are supported by spy satellites? |
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We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, and hats produce neither betters nor minions. |
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Your spy-sattelite hat-wearers can get calls on public phones all they want, and I'll applaud them for giving pay phones relevance once more, but anybody trying to answer my cell phone will get more than a message from me. |
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People carrying donor mobile phones would probably be eligible for discounts (for when they next buy diamonds, caviar or hire a butler) if they passed over their phone or a message. |
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Practically the design of the hat would have been protected from illegal copying due to the prestige that wearing such a hat would bring. Maybe local laws could be adjusted to make wearing a fake hat a similiar crime to wearing purple, imperial robes in Ancient Rome. |
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