h a l f b a k e r yPoint of hors d'oevre
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Most important inventions and ideas were made by Belgians.
But, because of a particular set of hegemonies (first Spanish, then French, then German and now Anglosaxon), this is seldom recognized.
From the invention of beer or french fries, to the Higgs boson - the most interesting and creative
emanations of the human spirit first appeared in Belgium.
Some examples:
-the Higgs boson was in fact first discovered by two Belgians: François Englert and Robert Brout. But Higgs, who came in later, got his name attached to it, simply because he speaks English and didn't write his papers in French.
-the idea of the Big Bang. First formulated by Belgian Jesuit-cum-physicist Georges Lemaître. But because Lemaître thought Einstein was a bit of a dummy, he never got due recognition.
-the World Wide Web: invented by Belgian CERN scientist Robert Caillau, but the British media never mention that and pushed Tim Berners-Lee instead.
-Belgians put the first man on the Moon, long before Von Braun did so. We put Tin Tin on the Moon in 1953.
-French fries, beer and waffles. These cosmologically relevant substances were invented by equally creative Belgians.
So the idea is simple: with the world's greatest physicists being from Belgium, and with such great food and beer, we can easily lock up these geniuses into a room and only liberate them once they have created a parallel universe.
All Belgians will then decide to leave this frustrating earthly world, and go live in that beautiful new spatio-temporal dimension.
But obviously, we must tackle the root of our frustration - which is lack of recognition of our scientific genius - so we will occasionally invite earthlings to visit us. We will then be the hegemon, and they will cheer.
Each visitor will receive free beer, fries and waffles.
The internets and wikipedias in this Parallel Universe for Frustrated Belgians Like Myself, will contain all the correct information about the inventions of the world.
Something like this ?
Pretend_20everythin..._20someone_20French
[FlyingToaster, Sep 10 2008]
The Belgians
http://www.youtube....watch?v=ty7qO_RCnWA
The Belgians [zen_tom, Sep 11 2008]
Django, brilliant!
http://www.youtube....watch?v=AEzsPGHsi90
Swing baby, swing!! ... and all this with four fingers only.... Belgium invented four-finger amputee guitar-playing gipsy-jazz genius!!! [django, Sep 19 2008]
I can't believe all your dirty language!
http://en.wikipedia...um_(disambiguation)
a fictional curse word in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. "B*****m" is the rudest word in the universe, which is "completely banned in all parts of the Galaxy, except in one part, where they don't know what it means, and in serious screenplays." [discontinuuity, Sep 21 2008]
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Annotation:
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Not sure about the others, but I sort of think the ancient Sumerians might have a slightly earlier claim on beer. |
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I hate to point this out, but wikipedia tells us that: |
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"in August 1830 ... the Belgian Revolution broke out, and the country wrested its independence from the Dutch, aided by French intellectuals and French armed forces." |
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... so Belgium was effectively invented by the French, n'est ce pas? |
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I think it more likely that the root of your genius is the lack of recognition of your genius and consequent Belgium-sized chip on your communal shoulder. A sort of countrywide short man's syndrome. |
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Actually, Django, we didn't want to tell
you, but you're *already* in a parallel
universe. Haven't you ever wondered why
we only contact you electronically? |
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How many Alice books are there in your universe, [django]? |
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Would this be a Walloon or Flanderian universe? |
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Maybe every country would be divided along those lines. |
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//All Belgians will then decide to leave this frustrating earthly world// |
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Great! In the meantime, thanks for all the beer. |
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I think we must have entered a parallel universe yesterday when the LHC was switched on.
The proof of this is that in the new universe the England football team won a match, something that could never have happened in the old one.
[EDIT] //consequent Belgium-sized chip on your communal shoulder//
No doubt with mayonnaise on it. |
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The genius of this is the Belgians will think it was their idea to leave. |
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Will they take tintin with them? |
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Hmph! Soon you'll be claiming Hercule Poirot is Belgian. |
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Not necessarily - we could replace Belgium with a franchise of somewhere else - such as Japan. It would be fantastic to be able to take a cross-channel ferry for a day-trip to Japan. |
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Agh, we are so above all the eartlhy comments posted here. |
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All your base are belong to Belgium. |
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Oh and by the way, I forgot Belgian chocolates, the European Union, NATO and chaos theory. |
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There's a clear relationship between these Belgian inventions. |
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Is this displaced anger over the lack of national unity in Belgium? Doesn't the Belgian media and school system teach the bold and wonderful history of the great nation of Walloonia/Flanders. I mean if the eastern united states decided to advertise itself as "America's Better Half" in the Economist i think it would inspire some protest. I think that Belgium is actually over represented in the language. Name a famous person (non explorer) or product from Portugal. They had colonies all over the world. Belgian branded food is all over the world and as you said Belgian scientists are widely recognized inside the scientific community. You already seem to live in an alternate universe. :) |
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//Name a famous person (non explorer) or
product from Portugal.// |
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//Name a famous person (non explorer) or product from Portugal.// |
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I feel the Portuguese need some solidarity from us. |
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Ok Port i give you. Anything else in wide usage? There is no Portuguese kiss, no Port toast, no Portuguese cheeses, no Portuguese chocolate. The best i can come up with for American products is American Cheese. |
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//The best i can come up with for American products is American Cheese// Hmmm, I'd say Edison's electric grid is better than cheese. Oh and the PC I am typing on was also invented here. |
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Guys, common, this is about a parallel universe for Belgians. Not for Americans or Portuguese or Portuguese-Americans. |
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Once we're there, we might ask our scientists to design one for you. |
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We would be charitable and donate it, provided you mention that you got it from the Belgians, okay? |
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Belgians are no more neglected than any other nation, in fact they already receive disproportionate representation through name branded foods. Every country has important individuals but the complaint here is a "credit where due" type. I don't feel that America can claim the electric grid or computers as national inventions any more than we can claim the nuclear weapon. |
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Well, I'm all for it, so long as admission is free, and you point out the blatantly obvious fact that Belgians developed sex with hotties. |
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Nationalistic pride was invented in the Belgian Congo. |
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By someone named Chauvin, who purportedly was half-Belgian. |
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Belgium - an anagram of: I be glum.
Perfect. |
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Nationalism was invented by a Belgian called Chauvin. |
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The United Nations, aimed at taming nationalism, were invented by Roosevelt, whose ancestors were Belgian rose gardeners. ("Roose"-"velt" - field of roses). |
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So we both invented it and its anti-dote. We are creative. We will neet matter and anti-matter for our parallel universe. And we will find it by discovering the Englert-Brout boson. |
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// 99.9999999% dark cocoa mass // |
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Oooooh..... can we have that deep-fried, in a paper cone, with a big dollop of mayonnaise on top ? |
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Belgian chocolate is, by far, the best in the world. |
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//Belgian chocolate is, by far, the best in the world.// |
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And since there is only one Higgs boson in the world, it is by far the most Belgian at that. |
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Lol, UnaBubba, sometimes you have such humors! |
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//the Higgs boson was in fact first discovered by two Belgians: François Englert and Robert Brout.//
'fraid not, django. The Higgs Boson was invented but has not yet been discovered, rather like Belgium itself really. You'd better cross all of the appropriate extremeties and pray that the guys at the LHC manage to come up with the goods otherwise Belgium, in a Douglas Adams-like puff of logic, will vanish from this reality. |
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sp: four Belgians: François Englert and Robert Brout, Davide Humpér and Earnest Dink. |
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Hence the true name of the theorized particle is actually EnglertBroutHumpérDink's Boson |
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But DrBob, name me one other nation whose scientists invent something the existence of which still has to be proved, but, which, in case it is found, will reveal the entire workings of the cosmos. |
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Logically speaking, those who invented the 'God Particle' are God themselves. |
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I'm happy to learn that God is Belgian. Who would have thought that! |
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Of all the peoples on the planet, amongst all the diversity, God the Almighty Himself voluntarily chose to be Belgian. |
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I think it's quite a feat. |
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But then, considering the Godly delights that can be found in Belgium, it is only logical for Him to have chosen Us. Or for us to decide that if We invent him, he should at least resemble Us. |
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//name me one other nation whose scientists invent something the existence of which still has to be proved, but, which, in case it is found, will reveal the entire workings of the cosmos//
Well, there's all those Creationists. |
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//Well, there's all those Creationists.// |
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Fair enough, but creationists didn't succeed in collecting 12 billion euros to build a nifty machine aimed at proving their theory. |
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The only machine creationists have ever succeeded in making is a papier maché machine, which they use to make shabby replicas of 3,000 year old dinosaurs which they expose in funny museums. |
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God only works with serious people. Who use computers and huge loads of concrete and magnets to calculate things. |
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////Well, there's all those Creationists.//
And every crackpot scientist ever born...and halfbakers, of course. |
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// every crackpot scientist ever born // |
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What about the ones that were cloned, in a glass tank ? Or were hatched ? |
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Bun for the title. Who cars about the content of the idea? |
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can I supply weight loss products in this new world. sounds like you will be needing them. |
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Even your namesake, Django, is Belgian. Of course, jazz, which occupies the apex of human invention, came from the African-Americans. |
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[luxlucet] true, we didn't invent jazz, we only invented perfected jazz. Django Rheinhardt, the father of perfection! Mad gipsy-jazz is just unbeatable!! [link] |
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The LHC may be dead, but that doesn't mean the Englert-Brout boson doesn't exist. |
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Speaking from experience*, unfortunately, New Zealand is at the opposite end of the culinary spectrum from Belgium. |
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In fact I can't see a single similarity, beyond small, passive and cute. Belgium has the glory and magnificent buildings of the E.U., complete with the stench and puddles of piss and wasted homeless, whilst New Zealand has shitty cinderblock homes and only three or four homeless in the country. Plus the Kiwi homeless are polite, and don't piss; instead they sing and juggle. It's a little give and take, really. |
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*do not eat the cheese. It may be nicely wrapped in foil, but it is just rotten milk. |
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Don't the French do that with crepes? |
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Very likely, the French are full of it ....... oh, 'crepes', the little pancake things .... |
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I don't want to live in a world without the word Flemish. Phlegmish? Whatevs. |
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I thought Al Gore invented the Internet? No? Well, his BS-PR campaign is better than Belgium's. |
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Not *another* thing better than Belgium?... |
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It's true. I heard a Belchan invented mirror reflections that are opposite of the non-reflective type. Also, bladeless jack knives without handles were a Belchan decipherment. Belchans also invented creamy peanut butter when they picked all the bits out of the crunchy kind. I think we may be speaking of the same folks who developed bitter hard Marshmallows as a universal opposition to the sweet-soft kind. |
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Those Belchans are truly remarkable. |
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"AND THERE GO THE BELGIANS!. SUBLIME!" |
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