h a l f b a k e r yYou gonna finish that?
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A facial hair trimming contraption which attaches to your face in such a way that the two trimming heads touch corresponding points on the left and right side.
One of the trim heads is mounted on a freely movable arm that the shaving person can position with his or her hand. The other trim head
is mounted on a pantograph arm, set to move correspondingly in a symmetric pattern, duplicating in reverse the movement of the first trim head.
To operate, shave or trim normally on one side of the face with the free moving arm, while the pantographed arm takes care of the other side automatically.
Guaranteed a perfectly symmetric beard or moustache trim, done in half the time (not including set up and calibration).
Best results on symmetric faces, of course - but don't let that be a deterrent... your face might not be symmetrical but your facial hair can be.
I've determined that having the moving parts of the apparatus descend out of the front of a hat is workable... I think this has merit though am concerned the hat will result in a less than adequate experience for the considerably hirsute.
Head and genital adaptor kits available soon.
The products mentioned by 8th
http://www.amazon.c...view/R231U4ZG0YDNHD
[calum, Aug 23 2013]
[link]
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I like the idea, but I think I'll stick with my manually administered package grooming process for the nonce, thanks. |
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It could work..... But that's no deterrent! + |
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Just a little bit off of the jugular, please. [+] |
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I've made a terrible mistake, seems I neglected to ensure the cutter blade extended all the way to the edges of the trim heads - resulting in an unsightly soul patch seam of untrimmed hair up the center of the neck and chin where the trim heads butted together. Perhaps I can finagle this into a feature, not a bug. |
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[+] good idea! Does it come with template designs? |
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//Head and genital adaptor//
The implication being that you can style yr pubes so that they look like your head hair? This would be good for bringing any bedroom action to a cold stop the minute you slip off your underpants. |
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Well, it worked for Tony Blair. |
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Admittedly that was in reverse, but since he was a complete dickhead he got away with it. |
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<shopping channel>But wait, that's not all! The pantographic symmetric beard trimmer also comes with a front and back mechanism that allows you to style the hair on the front and the back of your head identically. Using the Pantographic Symmetric Clown Make Up Applicator - available as part of this one great deal, at no extra cost - you can cheer and alarm the nearby, rendering them incapable of determining whether the bearded clown is coming toward or away!</sc> |
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I am curious why the kit comes with options for
trilateral and radial symmetry. |
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I weep as I ponder the most likely use for such a
device: to be introduced early in the show as the
mad inventor's latest, only to go horribly wrong later
on. Why must it go horribly wrong? Why?? Can the
wild haired scientist not emerge from his machine
dapper and groomed to scientific perfection from
that episode forward? |
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Radial symmetry would surely be a beard lathe. |
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Actually, there are a number of cheap and widely available pyrotechnics (and indeed volatile accelerants) that do a really cracking job of removing unwanted facial hair. |
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The fact that they also remove wanted facial hair is not necessarily a downside. |
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//your face might not be symmetrical but your facial
hair can be.// I've always thought that the reverse
would be quite amusing - a beard and moustache
offset slightly from the midline. |
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//I've determined that having the moving parts of
the
apparatus descend out of the front of a hat is
workable... // The positioning of the hat will be a
constant source of error once the apparatus is
calibrated and fully set-up. It would be more
sensible
to clip it to the top of the nose in a pince-nez
manner, assuming, of course, that one's monobrow
will be trimmed in a separate operation or that the
cutters are suitably small. [+] though. |
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Given that practically everyone has an asymmetrical
face, this should result in unbridled hilarity with
every use. |
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If only God had used a pantograph. Shoddy work that was. |
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