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Padded condom. To the X-treme!!

 Because you wanna look more crazy than the snowboarders.
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I'm always looking for new ways to push the boundaries of winter sports to new extremes. OK, you got me. I see snow for about two days a year and I've never even stood on a snowboard.

Now that unpleasantness is out of the way...

A padded body suit to slide down the slopes. The surface is padded with smooth bubble wrap (but high tech bubble wrap so they can charge you through the nose), that minimises friction between ass and snow and protects your fragile body from the harsh terrain.

The bag extends to your neck, where it meets the helmet (you'll need one), and down to the elbows. Your lower arms are covered in thick gloves with a blade running from elbow to pinkie finger (made from the same stuff they use to make snowboards). Steering is achieved by using the blades as rudders.

Basically that's about it. You'll need a reasonably steep slope to get up momentum, and it should be free of obstacles since a big rock could really ruin your day.

The target audience for this is people like me who have zero balance but like to go really fast down hills.

Given enough time, this could form the basis of a new X Games sport. The rider uses the snowboard runs, and points are awarded for somersaults in the air and various cool shapes they can make before bouncing to the ground. Just avoid the slide rails :-)

—sambwiches, Mar 26 2003

Skiing Naked http://www.amxvideo.com/titles/a117.htm
...is said to be well-established. Why bother with a suit? [DrCurry, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

Like zorbing http://www.zorb.com/
only snugger. [my face your, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

Body Skiing, under culture:games http://www.halfbake.../idea/Body_20Skiing
here it is snarfy; almost the same [FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

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       Graphite covered tuffened bubble wrap sledging body suit,going downhill.Smell the friction.
—sufc, Mar 26 2003
   

       I do this sledding with my kids using a slippery jacket as my only equipment. Sure love to have some padding and more accurate steering. I’d be in a lot less pain the following day, that’s for sure. (+)
—Shz, Mar 27 2003
   

       Thank'ye kindly, [shz]. I'm hankering for some snow right now. Haven't seen any in a good while.
—sambwiches, Mar 27 2003
   

       I'm sure I have no idea what you mean, [fogfreak]. Of course, I would have no need for such an item ;-)
—sambwiches, Mar 27 2003
   

       I wonder how many messed up google searches this site will bring up now. Probably will be included in tomorrow's spam.
—Worldgineer, Mar 27 2003
   

       i bet you could do this yourself with some kevlar and 3/16" pvc sheeting. sounds great. croissant!
—urbanmatador, Mar 27 2003
   

       I have seen a non-xtreme sports version of this. Some kids near me had sallapet (?) suits on (like padded dungarees) and were sledding down a hill on their bums. When they got up at the bottom of the hill I saw that the seats of their suits (try saying that with your teeth out) had a plastic/rubber patch with runners at both sides. All they had to do was plonk down on their behinds and then lift their feet!   

       Wish I'd had one.
—squeak, Mar 27 2003
   

       *whew* What a relief.   

       Wondering if this shouldn't have some sort of hard shell or something to prevent injuries.
—RayfordSteele, Mar 27 2003
   

       I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop while reading this. The condom? I figure that to preserve fambly values on the slopes, the bubblewrapped skiier would need to wear some sort of loincloth. A turquoise and vermillion padded condom beneath would work well.
—bungston, Mar 27 2003
   

       And rubbers on the feet.
—FarmerJohn, Mar 27 2003
   

       You appear to be missing an exclamation mark from the idea title, samb. Fix that and you get a croissant.
—my face your, Mar 27 2003
   

       Didn't we just do this last month?
—snarfyguy, Mar 27 2003
   

       The idea, or the actual proposed activity?
—bungston, Mar 27 2003
   

       I'm more than a little disappointed that galukalock beat me to the punch with a similar idea.   

       However, the ideas differ in a few very important ways *picture me sitting in a field grasping at straws*.   

       1. Bodyskiing was basically skeleton with the skis attached to the extremities. This is more like 'bodysledding' with no skis attached. As [myfaceyour] says, like zorbing, but snugger.   

       2. This method offers more control. The last idea didn't allow much in the way of steering, which is pretty important while speeding towards a tree :-O   

       3. There is no 3. What do you want, blood?
—sambwiches, Mar 27 2003
   

       Read on, sam. Although the skis were attached to the extremities, one would be basically bodysledding. And I did mention handheld control devices (sounds electronic) quite similar to yours (see my third-from-the-last anno, dated 03/03/03). But yours seems to taking place in a sitting (approximately) position. Am I missing something?   

       <natives state="restless">Blood! Blood! No three, blood! Blood! Blood! No three, blood!</natives>
—galukalock, Mar 29 2003
   


 

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