PCA

Recipe books can be a real problem in the kitchen. They get splashed, covered in flour, and acquire mysterious jammy fingerprints.

But now there's a quick, easy and unaffordable answer to thise kitchen woes. Behold the BorgCo Kitchen Data Tablet.

The Data Tablet is a touchscreen device with a range of mounting options, and an RF link to a set of weighing scales. Optional links to the oven are also under development. The unit is WiFi equipped and internet ready, resistant to steam, hot fat, boiling water, and for some reason that R&D haven't seen fit to explain, opossum urine.

Simply select the reicipe you wish to cook. The system will display all the ingredients, containers and utensils you will require; then prompt you to weigh out the appropriate amounts at the appropriate times. A rising tone indicates how much you are adding to the scale pan, and then the system tells you when to stop.

The oven will automatically preheat, if required. A countdown timer is activated when cooking starts, and the display (and optional synthesised voice) will inform the cook that "You now have four minutes to peel and slice the carrots" or "Whisk the egg whites until I tell you to stop".

You can thus save huge amounts of money as you can now employ a poorly paid illegal immigrant to cook for you, and sack that expensive cordon bleu chef, yet still get excellent meals.