h a l f b a k e r yA few slices short of a loaf.
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I would have thought liquefaction of the body would work better than cremation into ashes. |
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If all of our ashes were converted entirely into tiny cubit zirconia crystals we could over time launch them into space to create a permanent rainbow ring around the Earth, much like Saturn's but way cooler. |
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//I would have thought liquefaction of the body would work better than cremation into ashes.// |
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The dust of the Earthly remains would work fine, I'd think mixing them with sparkles would be nice and those would be particulate as well. |
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//You mean like this only with a corpse?// |
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No. A corpse would be an intact dead body you'd have to shoot into a rainbow, presumably with a catapult of some sort. Not exactly the beautiful and moving goodbye display I had pictured. |
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//If all of our ashes were converted entirely into tiny cubit zirconia crystals we could over time launch them into space to create a permanent rainbow ring around the Earth, much like Saturn's but way cooler.// |
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Hey, I like that. What about just having a satellite formed from a ball of crystalized remains that gets bigger and bigger with each new delivery? A satellite cemetary circling overhead at night. You'd be able to look up and know that bright light moving overhead is the remains of the loved one you lost. |
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But have you ever tried liquefying a Human body? |
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Eh. Not exactly on my bucket list. |
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Well, even better. One shipment to the "Death Star" satellite (gonna need a better name) could contain the remains of thousands of those who've passed. |
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Right so you're perfectly happy to dismiss my suggestion, based not only on exactly zero real-world experience but on a professed unwillingness to even try it. |
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//Why make fake diamonds (cubic zirconium) instead of real ones (cubic carbon)?// |
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Why?
Because I was not aware we could do that of course.
Capital idea. |
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Well...
it is something to take pride in... |
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//Right so you're perfectly happy to dismiss my suggestion// |
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It's not that, it's one of the finest liquified human concepts I've ever heard, top ten at least, just not part of my skillset. |
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"Don't knock it 'til you've tried it!" |
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This has been a public service announcement from the Liquifying Human Remains community. |
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So, just for clarification, are we talking chemical liquefication, or more of a will-it-blend approach? |
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Perhaps explosive decompression might tenderize nicely? |
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Well that turned into a Monty Python schetch pretty quick. |
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Very good, carry on. (sits back with popcorn and 3D glasses) |
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Myth Busters covered that by the way, the Breaking Bad episode. |
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Human body liquifecation? |
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Seeing how the remains have to go through pumps and nozzles I think a suspension of diamonds is not a good idea since it will abrade the machinery. Similarly a mechanical liquefaction produces a suspension which may gum up the works. Chemical liquefaction should produce a solution which would solve the problem. |
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I also would like to query whether suspending diamonds in a spray of water from a fire tug makes any visible difference to how much the spray looks sparkly. Next you're going to tell me that you haven't tried this either. |
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Human body liquifecation?// |
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Yup. Well, they used a pig carcass, but they duplicated the process they used in Breaking Bad to dispose of bodies by dissolving them in acid. |
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And yes, my experience with bodies, liquified or powdered is minimal, almost zero. Well, zero actually. |
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Good point about the pumps though, the air drop method would eliminate those issues. But the arc of water thing from the pump would be a nice effect. The way to do the arc of water would just be to add whatever solid material, diamonds etc after it leaves the nozzle. Basically sprinkle it into the stream after it's dissipated it's gauge pressure and is flowing as a result of velocity only. |
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//Basically sprinkle it into the stream//
Pretty much. Eductors use the liquid flow to entrain the solid, but that is for much more volume than you're talking about, so a sprinkle in the vicinity (before or just after) the nozzle is perfect. |
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Yea, the volume ratio is very one sided, so the physics of getting the job done isn't an issue, it's basically about the rainbow. Even added the sprinkles so you could actually see them since otherwise you really would just see a stream of water making a rainbow and have to take their word for it. |
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And as you pointed out in your link, the mechanisms for this are already there. Just need to put them on a boat, mix in the sparkles, pick the time of day, sun angle and viewing position and you'd have a very pretty and moving final goodbye ceremony I'd think. |
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Or just mix the ashes with some motor oil. On contact with the water you get both wide distribution, calm seas, and rainbows. |
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Is there any reason why the burial /has/ to be at sea? |
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I mean, for most people burial at field would be a lot easier to arrange and attend. And you could be fertilising into the bargain. |
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What about incorporating their ashes into a 14-inch shell and exploding them over a lake? It's just as brilliant and you wouldn't have to rent an expensive pompier boat. |
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What about into party poppers for a celebratory dinner? |
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//mix the ashes with some motor oil// |
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Well I suppose the sea birds being coated with grandma would sort of be a tribute. |
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//Is there any reason why the burial /has/ to be at sea?// |
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Know you're sort of kidding, but was thinking about the air tanker thing, they make runs over the forest as standard practice, you could basically just pay them to do a run without the fire. |
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//What about incorporating their ashes into a 14-inch shell and exploding them over a lake?// |
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I had thought of that and found out it's actually a thing. Let me find the link. |
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//What about into party poppers for a celebratory dinner?// |
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Again, I know you're kidding but I think you've got something there. Not for a dinner obviously (Cleanup on table ten!) but all the guests standing on one side of the boat, downwind obviously, shooting the ashes into the water with confetti and streamers? |
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Is there any reason why people might not want to do this? I think you hit on something there. Yea, joking about doing it at a dinner party, but change where you do it, why not from a boat? Seriously, I'd bun that idea. |
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Just a cannon with confetti and sparkles shot downwind from a boat. Doesn't even need to be explosive powered, could be pneumatic, even spring loaded. |
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But could even add pyrotechnics, sparkles, stars, etc. |
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I wasn't kidding about the field thing - I mean, it opens up the scope to those on a budget. But then again, there's plenty of alternatives for the landlocked. |
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//[...] why not from a boat?// |
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Well, why not indeed, I don't have a problem with it.
Although, if you're doing it from a boat, why not do it from a ship... why not do it from a pirate ship? |
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Imagine it:
It's a sunny day with gentle breeze. The mourning party observe the progress of a replica pirate ship, sailing majestically with flags at half mast. The gun ports snap open on command, and all the cannon fire on a high trajectory in staggered sequence. Timed charges detonate, spreading cremains, magnesium sparks, biodegradable glitter and a cloud of water droplets at the optimal viewing angle. |
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The only downside I can see is that it might actually make funerals fun. Like, too much fun. |
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Another option would be a 21 gun salute with shotguns loaded with the cremains, but let's get serious here. |
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We're done. Pirate ship cannon funerals? Are you kidding me? That's how I want to go. |
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And people obviously dress like pirates! |
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Wow. And yes, the tributes need to be spoken in piratees. "Arrrgh, he was a good matey he was!". |
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And the music? Do I need to say it? (links) |
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