Outside Only Umbrella

Opening an umbrella inside a house is commonly seen as a cardinal sin among the superstitious. If you are one and don’t trust yourself not to make the mistake, or even if you just know someone who may be ignorantly be bringing misfortune upon themselves and others, you need to buy an Outside Only Umbrella.

It works using the magical technology of radar. A radio-wave emitter/receiver in the tip will try and detect if there are any solid objects (i.e. a ceiling) in the area directly above the user. If so, then the umbrella will refuse to open until it is taken out into the elements. However, once the umbrella is open, it will not close automatically, as bad luck appears to result only from the act of opening; the inside possession of an outside-opened umbrella seems to be karmically-kosher.

Obviously, the technology involved in this product requires that it be slightly more expensive than a garden variety umbrella, but this expense will surely be more than repaid in good fortune and peace of mind.

This has been a Superstitioncorp presentation. Superstitioncorp accept no liability for misfortune resulting from batteries running out.