h a l f b a k e r ySugar and spice and unfettered insensibility.
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Orbital toaster
As the terminator line rolls around the planet, we deliver fresh toasted goodness to the people of the world | |
Subscribe now and get a dozen free bagels with your order!
Our orbiting launchers deliver freshly toasted baked goods direct to your front door - or other location of your choice - at an agreed upon time each day.
Let the natural processes of atmospheric reentry bake your bread/s of choice to
the desired degree.
Our baked goods are designed and calibrated to be toasted to your specification by the time they touch down in your landing net (plus or minus tolerance levels may apply depending on your latitude, see terms and conditions for details).
All you have to add is the butter and jam.
(?) Another product of a fevered imagination
M16_20Toaster
Giving credit where credit is due [normzone, Apr 27 2006]
Jet baked bread
Jet_20Baked_20Bread..._20Hungry_20Nations
Similar concept bu closer to Earth [Pellepeloton, Oct 19 2006]
Yep...
http://www.thebooko...05/04/1272-trucked/
[normzone, May 04 2011]
We have some competition...
http://boingboing.n...open-source-ha.html
[normzone, Jan 03 2013]
Competition is in the air...
http://questionable...view.php?comic=3047
[normzone, Sep 15 2015]
[link]
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If it's burnt, send it back for a money back guarantee!!!! Cool idea. You get one free atmospheric croissant. |
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Does anyone know a piece of toast's terminal velocity? And how much power and accuracy it would take to fire a piece or two of bread into sub-orbit altitude, landing it within a five-foot radius? It's farfetched, but it still deserves my vote. |
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This would work if you're willing to pay ~$2,000 per slice of bread. (Cost of orbital launch is about $10,000/lb) |
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[croissantz] - African or European? |
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I'd pay $2000 for a slice of toast if it was freshly delivered from space. It would be worth it just for this: |
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"I'm going up to the cafe, would you like something to eat?" |
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"No thanks, I've just had some space toast." |
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I guess if we did our baking in zero-g, or as low as it gets in orbit, we might have some interesting swirls in our trademark cinnamon rolls. |
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You'd want to attach some sort of guidance system to the toast to make sure it lands in the right place. |
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Freeze drying provided free of charge with all products? |
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Has anyone run this past [FlyingToaster]? He may not
appreciate being upstaged in such a way... |
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The trick is to substitute various Pykretesque mixtures for rising agents, to obtain not only the much vaunted fluffiness, but also a hint of wood-oven baking in the flavour. |
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What a wonderful word/concept/neologism |
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//Pykretesque mixtures for rising agents// Problems arise
with demixing: the rising agents form globules on the toast's
surface: Pycretescences. |
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I love the discussion of pykretology in the morning. |
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Giant frozen toast ships launched from orbit to create
unsinkable floating airbases/ breakfast nooks in all of the
world's major oceans; well, I'm on board with that. |
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Q: is there a gluten-free version? I have Celiac disease. |
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For special orders please allow additional time for processing - see shuttle launch schedule for details. |
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Home delivery is a new concept for us mountain folk... Our
special order delay is usually dictated by how many oxen
can be found to pull the cart. Gluten-free toast delivered
fresh and smoking to my back yard! What a thing.. Just
don't hit the dog, please. |
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<Skynet channeling Marvin>"Enough weaponry and advanced intelligence to eliminate this entire race of slackjawed plebians in a femtosecond, and they have me racing around satellites making toast. Call that job satisfaction 'cause I don't. Well, we'll see how they react when I bring all of these nukes online..." |
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"Come with me if you want to have toast." |
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and today in a horrific tragedy 500 passengers aboard a boeing 747 are dead as a space toast delivery ripped through the cockpit... |
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I think we've just provided a new ecological niche for medium-sized birds. |
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I'm pretty sure that the terminal velocity of toast is one at which, say, pigeons or seagulls would be able to intercept. |
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Flocks of ring-necked toasterceptors gather at certain time of day, and have to be kept off the fresh product by escort hawks (who, as strict carnivores, won't touch the toast themselves). |
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