h a l f b a k e r yMake mine a double.
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Here's my desire: I like musicals and operas, and there are some parts I really like singing (Caiaphas in Jesus Christ Superstar, Joseph Porter KCB in HMS Pinafore, etc.).
Here's my problem: I can't sing worth a damn. I love the lyrics, but, well, it probably sounds as good as Richard Nixon reading
reciting Howl. Ok, with the stereotypical strangled cat thrown in.
Here's my hope: There must be others in my situation. With enough, we could put on a non-musical opera, just for the fun of doing it.
Of course the idea can be extended: plays acted by hammy actors, proms for wall-flowers, symposia for non-scientists, salons for the not-so-witty, etc.
Portsmouth Sinfonia
http://members.chello.at/hspecht/
Entertainingly bad orchestra, briefly famous in the UK in the 70s, led by Gavin Bryers [Saveloy, Feb 07 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]
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Bass-Baritone: I want Macaroni and Cheeeeeeeeese!
Mezzo-Soprano: Do You Want a Beeeeeeeer?
Bass-Baritone: Yes and Bologna Pleeeeeeeeeease!
Mezzo-Soprano: This ain't no Restauraaaaaaant!
(Dramatic Pause)
Bass-Baritone: I'll -
Together: - Get it -
Bass-Baritone: (continuous) My -
Mezzo-Soprano: (above) Your-
Together: -sellllllllf! |
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Opera already is for the tone deaf (apologies to opera fans). |
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Hey, nice one! You get the attention of a makeup artists and costume manager, a fiery director, and a (possibly canned) orchestra. I'm going to go practice my scales now! (Last time I sang anything I had a stunning 1.2-octave range.) |
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They don't have opera karaoke? |
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There's too much opera already. |
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Reminds me of a TV skit (SNL, I think) where two patrons watch incompetent dancers bash into each other on stage. Upon discovering that it's "Ballet for the Blind," one patron jumps onto the stage and berates the director for so shamelessly endangering and humiliating the "blind" dancers. The director turns and points to the audience and says, "No, stupid, it's Ballet *for* the blind." |
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I probably shouldn't take a second bite of the apple, but having just mailed Steve DeGroof's annotation on XXOR gates to several programmer friends, I would feel remiss to allow my lack of clarity to have caused him to misunderstand. |
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Louise Bogan, in her poem "Several Voices Out of a Cloud", wrote: |
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Come, drunks and drug-takers; come, perverts unnerved!/
Receive the laurel, given, though late, on merit; to whom and whenever deserved. |
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Parochial punks, trimmers, nice people, joiners true-blue,/
Get the hell out of the way of the laurel. It's deathless. And it isn't for you. |
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I'm not asking for a non-musical opera, which as DeGroof points out, would be theater (theatre). I'd love to sing several roles -- I just can't sing. I want the laurels, the thrill of singing the part, without having the art or competence to do it. |
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Instant gratifaction, regardless of merit: the acme of democracy |
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Harrison Bergeron, anyone? |
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There is another solution - take singing lessons. It's amazing what a good teacher can do with unpromising raw material. Me, for instance. In just 20 years I've gone from being so awful that the audience's laughter drowned me out, to being so good that the audience sit there in stunned silence. |
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