Officially Quashed Object

Courtrooms are theatrical places, with wigs, costumes, set pieces, coats of arms and the like. Paradoxically, thisses intent seems to be to get people to feel that justice is being seen to be done, and it often works quite well unless you're one of those "Freemen on the Land" people or whatever. I understand, though, that there are no gavels. There should be gavels.

It's always slightly disappointing when I hear on the news that something has been quashed, as it brings to mind a citrus fruit being squelched beneath a heavy object with considerable force, perhaps yielding some tasty juice. I'm sure this doesn't happen but I wish it did.

Therefore, I propose that on the occasion of something being quashed, a yielding but slightly resistant fluid- filled receptacle be manufactured with the contrary decision clearly printed on it. This should be placed on the judge's bench and the gavel should be brought down upon it, producing a satisfying "squelch" and the exudation of some viscous dark fluid. In high-profile cases, this should be filmed and shown on news and current affairs programmes. The now quashed object should then be shrink-wrapped and transferred to an official quashed storage facility, where it should be refrigerated until required to be examined by legal officials.