h a l f b a k e r yNaturally, seismology provides the answer.
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If Americans are statistically more obese than
denizens of other
countries, a study should be conducted to see if all
that fat acts as a
sort of armor against bomb and gun attacks, and if
this might have
been taken into consideration by the Taliban and
might thus explain
why there have
been
so few attacks following
September 11.
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Annotation:
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Bigger targets are more likely to be hit. Low metabolism victims are harder to starve, regardless of start weight. Poison... nothing obvious. Bet fat folks float longer in the ocean. |
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Slower metabolism means poisons will take longer to spread,
and more bulk means it'll likely take a larger dose to produce an
effect. |
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Maybe propose this idea to that show that uses ballistics gel and
computers to determine the outcome of armed conflicts. |
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It would be more effective except the paramedics are also obese and take longer to get to the scene. |
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@ rcarty, I presume you mean 'Deadliest Warrior'. That show was
cancelled after season 3.
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@ FT, unless they're moving downhill. |
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The mythbusters gave this one a shot and found that having extra fat or muscle will do nothing at all for you if you get shot. The results would probably be about the same for shrapnel. |
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Ah that's where the cheap meat product in [name of UK supermarket redacted] comes in, it's a virtual cornucopia of animal dna...that deserves it's own post. |
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// Maybe propose this idea to that show that uses ballistics gel and computers to determine the outcome of armed conflicts. //
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Maybe propose this idea to use actual obese Americans to determine the outcome of armed conflicts. After all, there are plenty to use up. |
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I like it. We can do scaled-down laboratory tests using obese
cats. This definitely needs to be tested... fat folks have a lot going
for them. Extra padding for protection of vital organs against
shrapnel and flying debris, extra mass and slower metabolism
for protection against small doses of airborne biological/
chemical agents, extra buoyancy for increased survivalibilty in
airplane/ship crashes at sea, etc.
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On the other hand, they are larger targets and thus more likely
to be struck by shrapnel and flying debris, as well as flying
bullets in mass shootings. They are also generally slower-moving
targets and can't evacuate a targeted area as quickly, and you
can't get as many through a doorway. They generally don't have
as much stamina/endurance as a fitter person, so they can't run
as far. They're often heavier, and therefor can't as easily be
carried by rescue personnel, and often have other medical
conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart &
breathing problems which may make them more susceptible to
smoke and airborne chemical agents.
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This needs to be tested, damn it! |
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Wanted: Fat cats for ballistic testing. Call 555-fats |
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